These Words
by Reposessed
Summary: Is it possible for one word to tell an entire story? Perhaps just a small portion... One word to base each chapter on suggested by you, the readers and fans. A chance to put a little of yourself into the story and have it go the way you want it to. Further instruction inside. Rated M for future smut. Starts with Bade, don't worry nothing dirty, but will be ending with Jori!
1. Ring

**So. I'm reading a story that has intrigued me. And so I'm doing something similar. Each chapter of this story will be based on a word that was given to me by a reviewer. Well, after chapter one obviously. But instead of random short stories for each word, it'll be all for one constant story. This way, the reviewers have some small way to control how it goes. Sort of. So after you read chapter one, throw me a review. Then message me whatever word you think should be the basis for the next chapter. I'll only be using words from people that have actually reviewed the story. I haven't decided just yet, but I think I'll alternate points of view each chapter. We'll see. I also don't know if it's going to go along at all with the actual show, even though chapter one does, kinda, we'll see on that part also. So let's do this! Many thanks to my friend, Missy, for giving me the first word!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious nor will I be getting any form of monetary gain for this.**_

**These Words**

_-Ring-_

I slammed my laptop shut for the fourth time today. "Stupid fuckin' holiday." It's Christmas time and I hate buying gifts for people, so I don't. But Sikowitz made participating in the Secret Santa bullshit mandatory, and I just happened to get Tori. Surprise, surprise.

What do you get for someone that thinks you hate them? Yes, _thinks._ I don't actually hate her. But I'd never tell anyone that I consider her my closest friend aside from Beck. I have to _pretend to pretend_ to care about her likes and dislikes enough to get her a gift that she'll absolutely love without blowing my cover of blind hatred.

On top of all that, the person that gives the worst gift has to go yodeling with Sikowitz. Which is a terrifying enough prospect, even without Christmas carol yodeling threat thrown into the mix.

And so here I am surfing the web tirelessly and coming up with a constant stream of nothingness. Pushing the laptop off of me I picked up a random pair of scissors and began to cut up the closest thing to me, which happened to be an atrocious yellow spaghetti-strap shirt that my father's playgirl thought I'd look 'so mature and normal' in. I let out a relieved sigh when I heard the familiar sound of stainless steel sliding together, and ending in a satisfying snip. By the time the shirt was shredded I was calmed, and so I left my prison of a residence, depositing the tattered shreds just outside my father's room on my way out so that the slut may see just how much her expensive gift truly meant to me.

It was after midnight when I finally arrived home but I was successful in my quest for the perfect gift. It was pricey due to the fact that I had to have it specially made, but it was worth it. The look on Tori's face would be priceless and I'd go to any means neccessary to get my ass out of yodeling any day.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

So it's two days before Christmas and the last day of school before the break. This is when Sikowitz had planned for us to give our gifts. In class. In front of everyone. Fuck me.

As usual, our unconventional acting teacher was late to arrive so we were all sitting and chatting. Naturally I was with Beck, arguing about something trivial like an insect, dreading the moment I would have to present Tori with her gift in front of the entire room.

In a show of good faith I picked something up for Beck too, that way it didn't seem suspicious that I knew what the perfect gift for Tori would be. Am I being silly? Probably. But the logic seemed to make sense at the time, so I did it.

"Jade, it's Christmas. Can we just not fight for the holiday? You may hate it but I don't, okay? So just relax." He said.

I rolled my eyes but said nothing. Instead I pulled his gift out and handed it to him, saying "I'm not your secret santa but I _am_ your girlfriend. And I figured since I _had_ to get something for Tori, I wanted to get you something too."

He smiled up at me lovingly as he pulled the black wrapping paper off of the box that contained his gift. His eyes widened when he opened it and I couldn't help but give a small smile. "So yeah," I said non-chalantly. "It's a keychain that opens up so if you ever wanted to use the pick to play, you can. I wouldn't though, those initials are the signature from the lead guitarist of 'Care Bears on Fire'. I don't remember his name, but I'm sure you know what it is." That was his all time favorite band and I went to a lot of trouble getting the stupid little plastic guitar pick for him. I shrugged and looked to the head of the class with a bored expression on my face. But in reality his reaction made me genuinely happy. I may not love him in the same way he loves me, but I do love him and he deserved a nice gift for all the shit I put him through.

"You," He started as he took my hands in his, making me look him in the eye. "You are the best girlfriend a guy could ask for. Thank you."

I smiled at him and he leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine. As always I accepted the kiss from him. It wasn't an entirely unpleasant experience, his lips were soft and moist. Letting go of one of my hands, he placed the free one on the back of my neck in an attempt to deepen kiss. That's when Sikowitz decided to enter and interrupt our moment.

"Kiss your boyfriend on your own time, West. We have work to do!" He shouted, climbing into the room through the window.

We broke apart but he kept his hand in mine and the goofy expression of giddiness remained on his face. I squeezed his hand lightly and gave him one last small smile before returning my features to their usual scowl.

"Okay Robbie, you first. What did you get Cat?" Sikowitz singled the boy out and Robbie hopped up immediately, setting his annoying little puppet down. I had half a mind to throw it head-first into a woodchipper every time Robbie was within my sight.

He brought Cat up to the stage and jogged to the door next to the white board. "Merry Christmas, Cat!" He exclaimed as he opened it, and old man walked in pushing a cart. "This is your very own cotton candy machine!" Cat squealed with pure excitement as she bounded over to Robbie and enveloped him in a tight hug. Robbie blushed fiercely. "He has to follow you around all week. Enjoy!"

"Excellent! Very creative, Mr. Shapiro. Next up is Cat, what did you get for Andre?" Sikowitz asked.

Cat bounced her way over to Andre and grabbed his hands, pulling him to her bag. She ruffled around in it for a few moments and then jumped upright, thrusting some papers in his face. "I got him an interview with a record producer at Hyena Haven Productions."

Andre almost fell over. "You what now?"

Cat gave an excited squeal before continuing. "Yuppers! All you have to do is fill out the resume and call to set it up. I would have but I don't know you're schedule for school."

The class erupted into a fit of laughter at her words. "Oh Cat," Tori spoke through gasps. "School lets out at the same time for everyone."

Before she could reply Andre had her in his arms spinning her around the room, both squealing in delight.

"Alright, alright." Sikowitz yelled at them. "You're making me nauseous. Andre, what did you get for Beck?"

Andre set a still-giggling Cat down and pulled a clear plastic case out of his pocket, tossing it to Beck. "Merry Christmas, bro."

"Dude, no way. Is this the cricket that's been pestering me in my trailer?" He asked excitedly.

Andre nodded. "Yup, sleep well tonight."

Sikowitz smiled and took the cricket from Beck. "I want that. Now Beck, what did you get for Robbie?"

Beck looked confused but shook it off as he strode gracefully to the other entrance of the classroom opposite the door Robbie's gift came in and opened it, gesturing for whomever was out there waiting. "I remember you saying one time that you wished you could tell Christy Vic-Harris off for being such a bully to you all those years ago, so here is your chance."

Robbie looked utterly shocked. "No way, she got hot! How about a date instead!"

The girl sneered but Beck nudged her gently and she agreed without further resistence. That boy has some power over women.

Sikowitz clapped his hands. "Okay, now Christy get out." The girl looked dumb-founded but complied nonetheless. " So. That only leaves Jade and Tori. Why don't you come up and exchange them at the same time?"

I glared at Tori as we both made our way up to the front of the class, just to reassert my dominance. We stood in front of eachother and handed our gifts over, mine much smaller than hers. Doesn't matter, she'll still love it.

I waited for her to open hers first so I could see her reaction. She removed the black wrapping paper, yes I used the same wrapping for both gifts, and I heard her gasp when she opened the box. She pulled it out and dropped the box carelessly to the floor, studying the item in the light.

She held the stainless steel ring up by the chain I put it on and watched it swirl in awe. There were small holes going all around it in the shape of various different musical notes and the notes were filled in with an array of colorful sturdy glass pieces, so that if light ever hit it in the dark, the notes would reflect on the walls in a vibrant show.

I looked to Sikowitz. "Before you go saying that a ring isn't creative I had this made. I designed it. If you put a light up to it the musical notes will show on the walls."

Sikowitz gave a nod of approval and smiled as Tori slipped the chain over her head.

"Jade, I love it! It's so amazing." She clutched the ring to her chest only to pull it away far enough so she could examine it once again, a look of wonder crossing her features.

The smile on her face was so warming and sincere that my head swam and I was at a loss, my brain couldn't form any snide remarks. So instead I gave her a small nod and began to open my gift.

The wrapping was ugly, snowmen and santa clause, so that fell to the floor immediately. Underneath was a clear glass case, and inside was a full-steel pair of shiny scissors resting on a red-velvet cushion. I read the small plaque just above them and my jaw hit the floor. "No fuckin' way."

"Jade!" Sikowitz exclaimed.

Tori giggled and I looked up at her. "It's the same scissors they used in that movie you like. What's it called again?"

"It's called 'The Scissoring' and I don't just like it, it's my _favorite_ movie. How did you even get these?" At that moment I realized that my angry demeanor had been dropped, so I composed myself quickly. I cleared my throat and said, "Doesn't matter. Thanks."

I did my best to give her a nice smile, it must have worked because she walked up to me and touched my shoulder in a friendly gesture before returning to her seat. I followed her and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "I'll let that one slide since you got me one of the best gifts I've ever been given." And I walked back to my seat, failing miserably at not smiling like an idiot, like everyone else, for the rest of class.

**So that's it. Chapter one. Review, and send me your word idea for chapter two. One-word reviews like 'More.' or 'Cool." don't count! Remember, I only accept suggestions from people that have reviewed!**


	2. Glances

**Wow! 4 reviews within the first twenty four hours that I put it up! Thanks guys!**

**escarlet 12 - I like the characters as they are, their personalities. I wouldn't change them even if the story was totally AU! Thanks for the review!**

**RottenWonderland - Well I'm updating now, so here's to continuing! (:**

**Jay aka Jordan - Lol. I'm glad you liked it.**

**AMC6686 - Thanks! Your review was the longest. Lol. I wasn't sure if it would work so I had to make Jade's temporary lapse in composure more obvious than I wanted to, but I was happy with the chapter.**

**I'm updating this fast, I know. But in about a week I'll be heading on a vacation so I won't be updating at all. So consider this an early apology? I think this'll be a 1-2 updates a week story depending on the readers and the words I am given.**

**Remember!**** You have to PM me your words, not put them in your reviews! (AMC! XD) So review the last chapter then message me! There aren't many rules other than that. Each new word gives me a new idea on how to make the story go so think about how YOU want it to go and give me your word suggestion based on that. It can be any word at all.**

**I had about 5 suggested to me for chapter two, but my favorite came from escarlet 12! So thanks!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious nor will I be getting any monetary gain for this story.**_

**These Words**

_-Glances-_

It was the funniest thing ever, opening my door to see Sikowitz yodel-caroling with a bunch of strangers. He realized that his gift of a used cricket to the young Van Cleef girl was the worst by far. He pulled it off though and looked like he was having fun doing it too.

But Christmas has been over for almost two weeks now and I've worn my new ring every single day since Jade gave it to me. Most of the time I kept it on the chain so it wouldn't be ruined but on the days I was sure were slow I wore it on my ring finger, it fit perfectly and seeing it there made me smile.

Today was a chain day. I've considered that a gift from Jade meaning such a great deal to me was a little psychotic, but Jade was a good friend when she wasn't... I mean, when her attitude was more... Okay so being friends with Jade isn't exactly easy. But she _is_ my friend. And I enjoyed having her near me even when she's upset.

"Vega!" I was snapped from my reverie by none other than Jade screaming at me from down the hall.

I closed my locker and turned just in time to see her slamming her locker. "Hey what's your problem?" I asked, walking up next to her.

"This stupid prom. I was supposed to be doing a live performance this weekend about why clowns don't bounce and now Sikowitz says I can't because that's the only time they could schedule the prom. Like anyone wants one anyway." She ranted as she reattached a pair of scissors that had fallen off her locker.

"Oh. Well I like proms." I said. I decided to leave out the fact that I was the one to bring it up to Sikowitz.

"Which makes sense, 'cause you're you, and proms are stupid."

"I think I'll just take that as a compliment." I said smiling.

"Yeah? Well don't." And with that she was off leaving an almost tangible trail of rage in her wake.

I started walking towards our acting class with Sikowitz crossing my fingers, hoping and praying that he wouldn't say anything about prom being my idea. I didn't exactly need _another_ reason to make Jade hate me.

The excitement was building with each day that passed, practically the entire school was buzzing about the prom. Sikowitz did a poll about the theme and mine was picked. The Night Sky. I was excited to say the least.

When I entered the classroom I spotted Jade and Beck arguing. Of course. But I felt a twinge of guilt anyway. It wasn't necessarily my fault, how was I supposed to know that Sikowitz would cancel her performance for the prom? Regardless, Beck was once again caught in Jade's rage induced ranting because of something I did.

"Today's lesson, acting!" Sikowitz yelled as he burst through the door and threw his bag off to the side. "Jade! Tori! Front and center!"

I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as we both stood and made our way to the stage. It would be just like out hair-brained teacher to out me in front of everyone and throw me at her mercy.

"Okay!" He said, positioning us so that we were staring at eachother. "Tori, tell Jade some bad news. But try to say it in a way that won't upset Jade as much."

I scoffed. "Saying hi to Jade upsets her."

Sikowitz burst into a fit of laughter, followed by the class, and then stopped abruptly. "Not the point, and... action!"

An idea hit me and I ran to Robbie, whispering to him to grab his guitar. He did as I tried my best to throw together some words in my head that rhymed.

I stood in front of Jade again and felt myself pale, and my mouth went dry. No matter how I tell her this she'll definietly be beyond pissed, she was _already_ pissed. But I had no other bad news for her.

"Let's go Vega." She said with a scowl.

"Um, okay. Robbie, play anything please."

When the strumming began, the whole class chuckled at the sound of 'Call Me Maybe' being played. I took a big breath in preparation for the inevitable outburst from Jade, and I sang:

_"Jade/I just know you/Are gonna hate me_

_But prom this weekend/Was just a theory_

_I didn't know that/Your show would be cut_

_Please spare my life now/And don't kick my butt_

_Hey, I had no clue/And I'm real sorry_

_So please forgive me/And don't kick my butt"_

The strumming stopped and Jade just stared at me with rage in her eyes. Beck walked up and tried to grab her shoulders but she lunged at me. I cowered with my hands over my head but instead of feeling the pain of a million fists raining down upon me, I felt a tug at my neck. When I looked up again Jade had just disappeared out the door and I knew what had happened. She took the ring she gave me for Christmas.

I fought the tears that threatened to escape as I turned to the class. "Well at least I'm still alive." No one laughed though. Even I heard the pain in my voice. I clapped my hands together and sat back down in my seat.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

I haven't heard from Jade since I told her, which was weird because she usually lets her anger out on the thing causing it. I was expecting to be jumped as soon as I walked out of the room, but there was nothing. I've been jumpy all week thinking her wrath was right around every corner. By the time Friday rolled around I was emotionally exhausted.

But it's Saturday, and she's nowhere in sight. I twirled in front of the mirror one last time, making sure my prom outfit was perfect. The off-white shade of the dress was the closest you could get to the moon as possible, and it was strapless, clinging to my body in all the right places, ending just above mid-thigh. The clasp to button it was in the front but strategically hidden beneath a small rose the same color as the rest of the dress just above my right breast. My neck was bare, of course. It didn't feel right to wear anything else. I went for the hair-down look, natural, and there were silver moon earrings dangling from my ears each with a small chain dangling just a little further than the moon pendant itself. My left wrist was left bare while the right had a painted white rose corsage that I bought for myself.

Plenty of boys asked me to accompany them, like Robbie and some senior that I didn't even know, but I wasn't interested. This whole fight with Jade had me off-kilter to the point where I almost decided not to go. But tonight I would let loose and have some fun, not worry about Jade getting her revenge.

Trina and I rode in together where we met Robbie, Cat and her date, Matt or something, Andre and his date, Britney or Bailey, and Beck. Jade was nowhere to be found. I looked at Beck with question in my eyes but he just shrugged.

Whatever, it's party time. "Let's do this!" I shouted, grabbing Cat's hand and dancing my way to the crowd of students tearing up the middle of the Asphalt Cafe. Cat gave a squeal and immediately started swaying her hips to the music, her vibrant orange prom dress flailing every which way her arms went.

I laughed out loud as her spirit swallowed me up, forcing me to twirl and dance without a single care in the world. That is until I caught sight of her almost twenty minutes later. I stopped to stare because... Well I just couldn't help it! Her dress was such a deep blue that it was almost black, and it sparkled in the low light as if there were a million tiny stars winking at me. The bottom flowed down past her feet to drag along on the floor behind her, and the material hugged her body so close I almost couldn't breathe for her. There were no sleeves and the neck line plunged almost all the way to her navel.

This was honestly the most skin I've ever seen Jade bare, and as the moisture left my mouth and resurfaced in my palms, I realized that I like that a little more than I should. I tore my eyes away from her just as she spotted me and I was sure I'd been caught, but she said nothing to me as she made her way over to Beck.

Cat caught my attention again, just in time, saving me from myself as she jumped into me. The hug quickly turned into awkward dancing used to force me back into the pulsing throng of bodies. But before I disappeared again, I chanced a glance just in time to see Jade's eyes moving from me, or around me, to Beck once again.

The rest of the night was like this. I'd get closer to where I knew they were standing, and I'd glance again. Then I would force myself to turn away just before she caught me. It was sad in a way. I'm not usually one to keep my mouth shut but Jade scared me. Not in the sense that she'd hurt me physically, although that was always at the forefront of my mind, but in the sense that she would tell me that whatever sick and twisted friendship we have going on now is over completely. My stomach made an odd flip at the very thought of that happening.

Ugh! That enraged me. Why should I care? Jade is mean, and she's never given me a reason to want her as a friend this bad. In fact, I should want her out of my life.

I glanced at her again and this time she was laughing. Her smile, which I'd never actually paid close attention to before this very moment, froze me for a milisecond. It was stunning, better even, and my heart warmed to her once again. I could only imagine what effect it would have on the world if she were to ever produce a genuine smile. Yeah, being friends with Jade was much harder than it should ever be for any one friend, but at the end of the day, it always kinda seemed worth it.

And so instead of glancing at her again and averting my eyes when she caught me, I walked over to her. Her smile quickly faded into a scowl and my resolve faltered a bit. Shaking it off, I grabbed her arm and began to pull her away from prying eyes.

"Excuse you!" She yelled, halting us before we got too far. Okay so the direct approach with Jade wasn't the best choice.

"I want to talk to you." I said.

She crossed her arms in front of her chest and scoffed at me with her signature evil smirk plastered on her lips. "As if that wasn't obvious. All those glances, Vega. If I didn't know better I might thi-"

"Shut up Jade." I said, irritated. "Just stop, okay? Let's just go talk."

Jade's arms fell to her sides as she hesitated, but the serious look on my face told her this was a no-bullshit time. "Whatever." She said waving her hand, so I snatched her arm again and pulled her with me all the way to the the parking lot and Trina's car. "Jesus. Was it necessary to come this far?"

I sat on the hood of the car and looked up at her with the most sincere expression I could muster. "Jade, I had no idea you were doing any performance. Honestly. All I did was tell Sikowitz that I thought we should have a prom and he asked other students what they thought. And if I had to choose between the prom and your performance, I would've gone to see you show us how clowns don't bounce." Jade smirked, which I accepted as the closest thing I was ever going to get to a genuine smile. "I really love that dress by the way. You look fantastic."

"I know." She said.

Hopping off the car I said, "I got you something to apologize. I wasn't sure if you'd show up but I bought it anyway, clinging to that small sliver of hope that you might." I opened the driver's side door and leaned into the back, grabbing a clear plastic case. Closing the door I tossed it to her with a huge smile on my face.

"Th-thanks." She said as she pulled out the painted black rose corsage. She placed it on her right wrist and studied it a little before reaching into her dress pulling out my ring on its chain. "Here. I fixed it because it broke when I took it off of you. I guess you can have it back."

I almost squealed with delight and put the ring on as fast as I could, then clutching it to my heart. "Thank you." The absence of the little treasure around my neck had felt like a weight upon my heart and the presence it graced me with now had me almost giddy.

"Why's it even mean so much to you?" She asked playing with the corsage absentmindedly.

"Well," I started. "For one it's incredibly cool and totally a Jade West original. And for two you're my friend, _despite_" I rushed to add as Jade moved to interrupt. "the fact that you deny it. You may not consider me a friend but I know you're mine. That's all I really need."

Glancing around Jade stepped forward and wrapped her arms around my neck in a tight embrace. Shock ran through me but I recovered and returned the hug before she was able to escape. Our bodies molded together for the briefest of moments before she pulled back again and said "Tell anyone and I'll use those scissors you bought me to cut those loose lips off that pretty little head of yours."

I put my hands up in mock surrender and we began to walk back to the prom. "So you think I'm pretty?" I asked nudging her lightly.

"Shut it, Vega." She spat at me.

"Aaaand we're back."

**That's that! Chapter two complete. Words anyone? I see all that traffic out there. ;) Review and send me your words! Really get creative with them too! Once in a while I may use one from a real life friend if they suggest one, so that's just a small warning.**

**I've decided that I'm **_**not**_** going to go along with the story exactly but if I see fit, such as both chapter one and chapter two, I'll use some ideas from it. I want to have free reign. And I don't want them getting together right away either, there needs to be the chase, the banter, the excitement! Keep that in mind! Love you all!**


	3. Karaoke

**Let me just say that all of your reviews made me incredibly giddy and self-huggy! You're all so sweet!**

**Jay aka Jordan: Thanks so much! I think you should suggest some words too. :P**

**escarlet 12: Hey, it was a great suggestion and it gave me a cool idea on how to make chapter two go. So thank YOU for the great word! :D**

**AMC6686: Again you gave my longest review! You're awesoooome. And you're right! The ring wasn't intentionally given to Tori as a control device but it worked out that way! And I'll do my best to keep the characters as they should be, of course. What's the point of changing them? I fell in love with them because of the way they are now. Lol.**

**krys1993: Thanks a bunch! I'm glad you liked it!**

**chase19: Well then by all means, my friend, read on!**

**SkylerPhoenix: I like any kind of Jori, but fluffy Jori gives good feelings in the heart and I like providing that for my readers. Well I guess as fluffy as Jade can get, anyway. lol.**

**Newsies73: I really appreciate both of your reviews. I wear all my rings on a chain. Lol. Thank you though, really. :D**

**And thanks to all of those anonymous readers! I see you out there! Give me a review and a new word, oh silent ones!**

**All that being said, I'd like to thank those of you that DID give me words and I'd like to encourage everyone else to give some! I'm not getting as many as I'd hoped, although I've gotten a bunch. They can be anything at all! So give me them words!**

**Well here we go, this will be from my brain. I know there's a million ways I could make it from the show itself but I wanna make this one from me to show that I won't be using the show for all of them! Lol. Thanks to Newsies73 for the new word!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious or any songs nor will I be recieving any monetary gain for this.**_

**These Words**

_-Karaoke-_

"Cat!" I screamed as loud as I possibly could effectively interrupting the stream of babble spewing from her mouth. "I seriously don't care why your brother did blah, blah, blah!"

She gave me a hurt look and Tori glared at me. "Come on Jade, Cat's stories are..." She scratched her head searching for the right word and I had to resist the urge to laugh at how her face scrunched up in her thought process. "Interesting."

Cat giggled and I just rolled my eyes. The annual Hollywood Arts Karaoke Festival was here once again and Beck had forced me to accompany him despite my many protests. It started in the Asphalt Cafe, cutting through the parking lot, and stretching almost a mile down the road, which had been legally blocked off for the event.

The various stalls and concession stands were run by students and parents of people that went to school in Hollywood Arts alone, and I was honestly surprised that Sikowitz hadn't made our class do a stall as an assignment. When Tori voiced as much, forcing me to groan loudly at her, he just said it was because he'd rather take part in the festivities instead of having to sit with moody teenagers the entire time, pointing to me to emphasize this.

On the roof above the Asphalt Cafe there was a small station set up where anyone and everyone could sing karaoke, which resulted in quite a bit of bad music and even worse singers performing it. Naturally the Karaoke Festival was added to the long long list of things that I hate.

My reverie was interrupted by another of Cat's adorable giggles. Yeah I may be mean but even _I_ can see how adorble Cat is, it's one of the few reasons she wasn't on my hate list as well. I act like she annoys me, although her brother stories really _do_ annoy the piss out of me, but I find her carefree spirit and blind affection for all things living extremely endearing.

"What are you giggling about now?" I asked adjusting my sunglasses.

She pointed to the karaoke area where Tori was playing around on the computer they had set up there, presumably searching for a song. I sighed loudly. "Great." How she snuck off without me noticing, I had no clue.

Cat squealed her signature squeal and jumped up and down in excitement as I fought the urge to smile. Tori's voice was nowhere near as good as mine, of course, but I enjoy hearing her sing more than I'd ever let anyone know. Ever.

I averted my eyes, scanning the crowd for somewhere to focus my gaze while I waited for Tori to get done messing about. This entire festival has been a huge bore and I just wanted to find Beck and go home. At least there I could shut my bedroom door to the annoyances of the world.

The music started and my ears focused in on it, my pierced brow raising. Tori winked down at me as I glanced at her again. My smirk grew, convinced she'd screw this up somehow, as her que to sing approached.

_"You, you aren't really here with me,_

_You never were,_

_Sweep the dust from our eyes once again,_

_Watch the sunset of our hearts for one last time,_

_At sunrise I'll be gone,_

_Another pistol loaded," _Her hand rose high in the air as she sang this, her thumb and forefinger creating a gun shape. And the makeshift gun came down fast to rest on me,_ "This time it's mine," _

I couldn't help but laugh out loud which encouraged Cat to give an excited squeal and drag me closer. Together we threw our hands in the air, and I sang along.

_"Breathe,_

_Just for one more day and you'll come back to me,_

_You're so cold,_

_I, I still wonder whether you'll come back to be,_

_Just hold on,"_

By this time the excitement of the chorus had attracted a large crowd and bodies collided with bodies, almost the entire festival started to dance. I couldn't bring myself to look at anyone but Tori as her small performance turned into more of a concert.

_"Sleep, sleep now love, the sun extinguishes itself,_

_I will never look back, look for something else,_

_Deliver me with your sweet song and take me home,_

_Take me home again,_

_Another pistol loaded,_

_This time it's mine," _She repeated her gun-finger action again, but this time her eyes didn't leave mine as the song continued, "_My heart just bleeds devotion,_

_Give me a sign,_

_Breathe,_

_Just for one more day and you'll come back to me,_

_You're so cold,_

_I, I still wonder whether you'll come back to be,_

_Just hold on,"_

The chorus ended and the music slowed down immediately. In true Tori fashion she closed her eyes and clutched the mic with both hands dramatically, making me laugh out loud once again. "_Breathe and you'll come back to me,_

_I wish you'd come back to me,_

_Breathe and you'll come back to me,"_

The music stopped briefly and Tori jumped into the air. Just as her feet touched back to the ground she belted the next lines out, her whole body rocking with the music. "_Breathe,_

_Just for one more day and you'll come back to me,_

_You're so cold,_

_I, I still wonder whether you'll come back to be,_

_Just hold on,"_

The music ended and the crowd erupted, screaming for more. Tori waved to them all and spoke into the mic, "Thanks everyone! Maybe I'll do another one later. Enjoy the festival!"

The performance, and just the simple fact that Tori knew that song, blew me away entirely. Secretly all I wanted to do was jump and scream with the rest of the crowd but all I allowed was light applause as I watched Tori bound down the stairs to join Cat and I once again.

"Yay! Tori that rocked!" Cat gushed jumping into a hug and making a faint blush spread across Tori's face.

"Show off." I stated simply, adjusting my bag on my shoulder and walking away.

Before I could get very far I felt a hand grip my bicep tightly and Tori's angry voice rang in my ears. "Do you have to ruin everything?" She asked, pulling hard to turn me around and face her.

I gave her a fierce glare and looked at her hand. "Why are you touching me?"

"Because!" She said.

Cat appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, to stand next to us. "No! Don't fight, I hate it when people fight!"

Tori acted as if she hadn't heard the redhead. "Why do you always have to turn everything sour? I wasn't showing off, I was having fun. And everyone else loved it." She gestured widely at the still riled crowd for emphasis.

"Since when do you care what I think anyway? Take your hand off of me, Vega. I mean it." Even I could hear the extra menace in my voice.

Cat put her hands on her head and yelled, "Stop it!"

Tori's grip tightened as I grabbed her wrist to pull her hand off of me. "Haven't you ever heard of, 'If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all'?"

We struggled as we tried to overpower the eachother, and I yelled in her face as loud as I could. "NO!" At that moment I jerked my shoulder back and pulled on her hand as hard as I could. Tori lost her grip on me and sent my elbow flying backwards into Cat's face with animalistic force.

The redhead screeched in pain and fell to the ground clutching her nose. "Fuck!" I shouted dropping next to her. "Cat, are you okay? Holy shit, you're bleeding a lot."

Tori dropped next to her too and pulled her black sweatshirt from around her waist. "Here use this."

I tore the clothing item from her and coaxed Cat's hands away from her face. "Put this under your nose. We have to get you to a hospital, it could be broken. Vega, help me."

Together we helped Cat walk towards the parking lot as I pulled my Pear Phone out and dialed Beck's number. I range five times before he answered, which irritated me even further. "Get to your car, we have to take Cat to the hospital." And I hung up before he could reply.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

Three hours later we were walking out of the Emergency Room, a wounded Cat bouncing in front of us joyfully. I shook my head in pure awe at how she could be so flambuoyant even after what had happened. Although the pain meds could've had a little bit to do with it.

Her nose was indeed broken and she need three stitches inside her mouth where her teeth cut her lip on impact. Guilt shot through me as she spun and I saw the white bandages contrast so brightly against the bruising on her features. "Cat..." I started, but my voice trailed off and Beck's arm made its way around my waist to comfort me. What the fuck was I supposed to say? 'Gee Cat, so sorry I broke your face.' just didn't seem to cut it.

She seemed to sense what I meant to say because she giggled again and skipped up to me. "It's okay Jade." Her voice came out nasally, but still somehow managed to be cute. "You and Tori can make it up to me!"

"Anything." Tori said grabbing her hand. "I'm really really sorry Cat. Whatever you want and I'll do it. We'll do it." She gestured to me.

I narrowed my eyes at her but nodded to Cat. "_Almost_ anything."

"You guys have to sing for me!" She said dancing her way to Beck's car.

We all loaded in with Beck in the driver's seat, me in the passenger, and Tori and Cat in the back. I twisted around to look at the redhead, "Um, okay. What do you want us to sing?"

"Back to the festival!" She sing-songed to Beck. "You guys pick it out."

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

"I know what song to do." Tori deadpanned as we waited in line to sing.

"Why do you get to choose?" I asked glaringly.

Her arms folded over her chest. "Because _you're_ the reason this all happened. If you could just-"

I cut her off waving my hand in her face. "Whatever, Vega. I'm not going to argue with you, that's how _we_ hurt Cat in the first place. Choose the song and let's just get this over with." Normally I would've done everything within my power to irritate the brunette further but Cat was hurt and she didn't need us arguing through our apology song.

We finally got to the front and Tori immediately went to the computer to get our song ready while I set up and tested two microphones. Tori gave me a thumbs up and I tossed her a mic, while speaking into mine, "Hey, this one's for you Cat."

"We love you and we're completely sorry!" Tori added, annoyingly.

I recognized the song immediately when she pushed play, and the irony wasn't lost on me. I smiled as I lowered the mic and whispered to her fiercely, "I'll start, and we're not doing this half-assed. Just follow my lead." She gave a curt nod and I began to sing my part;

_"I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh,"_ The crowd erupted in immediate recognition of the song and I smiled down at Cat who was bouncing joyously.

_"I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away_

_I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well_

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain"_

Tori stepped up next to me and I wrapped my arm around her waist. She glanced at me, shocked, but neither of us missed our que as her arm rested on my shoulders. "_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome,_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away,"_

Her mic lowered as I finished, _"You've gone away, you don't feel me here anymore."_

I bowed lightly and stepped behind the brunette so she could sing her part.

_"The worst is over now and we can breathe again_

_I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain"_ I embraced her from behind and leaned in to her mic to sing the back-up. _"away,"_

_"There's so much left to learn," _More back-up. My entire body was tingling but I couldn't figure out why. Her stomach muscles flexed beneath my hand as she sang, _"and no one left to fight,"_

_"I wanna hold you high and steal your pain." _As the last word left her mouth I quickly grabbed her hand and spun her away from me, but I didn't let go. Instead I laced our fingers together and she smiled at me as we both sang out the chorus.

_"'Cause I'm broken when I'm open,_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough,_

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome,_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away,"_

The music took off at a slow pace and I pulled her back to me, but this time we faced eachother, and I led her in a slow dance around the small space we had.

She laughed as I bent her backwards in a dip, my eyes roaming slowly and helplessly over her body, before I brought her back up so that our faces were inches apart. I felt her breath on my face as we both leaned in closer. Just before our lips could meet we separated, thrusting ourselves to lean on the edge of the make-shift stage as we broke out into the chorus again,

_"'Cause I'm broken when I'm open,_

_And I don't feel like I am strong enough," _The entire audience groaned at our non-kiss, apparently wanting more. The amusement in Tori's voice at this as she sang was enough to make me smile too.

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome,_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away,"_

The lyrics had another brief break and I took Tori into my arms forcefully, planting a kiss on the side of her mouth. My heart skipped a beat as she sucked in a sharp breath at my actions, and the crowd erupted into a flurry of wolf whistles and applause.

What can I say? I'm an actress, I love to shock people, and to the shocked audience that kiss looked real. I pointed and winked at Cat who was laughing so hard that she was clutching her aching nose.

"Ow!" Tori yelled into her mic just before we began to sing once again.

_"'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome,_

_And I don't feel right when you're gone away,"_ Her hand brushed across my back and rested on the opposite hip as I finished the song up.

_"You've gone away,_

_You don't feel me here anymore."_

Both of our heads bowed, slowly winding down with the music. When it was done completely the applause we recieved could've been heard from the next three cities and then some. Cat jumped up and down, limbs flailing, with Beck, Andre, and Robbie dodging and cowering beside her.

I leaned in to whisper in the brunette's ear, "Nice show, Vega."

She giggled as she tossed the mic behind her and waved to the crowd. "Not bad, West. Not bad at all." And for some unknown reason a fierce blush spread over her face.

**Ahahahaha. I teased youuuu. Don't hate me! I thought it'd be good progression for them! To those who DON'T understand the irony, the song was called **_**Broken**_** and they **_**broke**_** Cat's nose. Lol. Which made the song the perfect opportunity to give you all your very first almost-Jori moment!**

**Give me them words my lovelies. Gosh, I'm having so much fun with this story! You guys keep them good reviews coming and I'll try to keep cranking out some good chapters.**

**First song: Breathe by Kitte**

**Second song: Broken by Seether Ft. Amy Lee**


	4. Superhero

**Thanks to all who revieeeewed! And a big thanks to those silent readers out there. Much love.**

**AMC6686: Your reviews always make me smile! But yeah, I hated that Cat had to get hurt but I wanted to show Cat's easily-forgiving spirit too, her pureness if you will. Jori may be my favorite but Cat is also close to my heart. She's just so damn cute and funny!**

**Newsies73: Holy moly, you wrote me a story of your own! So I'll reply to it in a PM so I don't take too much space up here. Lol. (Which you've probably gotten by now! o:) Thanks for the awesome word!**

**escarlet 12: Thanks! Chapter three was so fun to do! I was all giggly as I was writing it like, "Oh Jade, you vixen."**

**Jay aka Jordan: Ahahaha. Teasing is my specialty. :)**

**Freak of nature: Here's the more you asked for!**

**So few of you are suggesting words, it's making me sad! Maybe I'll start getting strict. Lol. No updates until I have words suggested from at least seven people maybe? Don't get me wrong, the words I've gotten so far are awesome, and the people that have suggested them are even better, but there's so many readers out there that are being too silent! Come on! Put in your two cents!**

**Thanks to AMC6686 for the new word! Onto Chapter Four!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious and will be receiving no monetary gain for this story.**_

**These Words**

_-Superhero-_

For at least a week after our apology performance for Cat, Jade and I were both receiving random wolf whistles from the poor excuses for men in Hollywood Arts. Wolf whistles that would often turn into terrified little squeaks whenever Jade caught them in her death glare.

Today, the Monday and full week after, was no different, and I found myself giving a few death glares of my own. I wasn't nearly as intimidating though, and they'd just laugh at me and make ugly kissing faces complete with disgusting kissing noises. I sighed as one particularly annoying boy stood next to my locker and proceeded to pester me relentlessly.

"So what was it like kissing Jade? I bet her lips were really cold. Did she taste like blood?" He laughed at his own jokes, and I just rolled my eyes. Even though I probably shouldn't, I do actually remember what her lips felt like on my face. They were pleasant, honestly. Soft and warm.

I scoffed at this, shoving more books into my locker. All week long I wrestled with my head about it. It was a stage kiss, fake, and yet my brain would taunt me with thoughts that were so far from the truth it was sickening. Thoughts like, 'Maybe she wants to kiss you for real?' and 'You'd like her to kiss you.' And no matter how many times I screamed at myself in my head, the thoughts never stopped coming. It frustrated me to no end.

The very thought of Jade kissing me for real should repulse me. Not because she's a girl, but because she's _Jade_. She had her good moments but for the most part she was bitter and mean. So why did the air leave my lungs when her lips touched my cheek? And why does my heart rate spike everytime I think of it?

I slammed my locker hard and slumped against it just in time to catch the end of whatever the boy had been saying to me. "-with Beck in the way but I don't think he'd mind much."

"Are you serious right now? Can you just go away?" I glared at him and he laughed.

"Hey now, I'm just curious. Do you think you and Jade wi-" His words cut off sharply as his body connected hard with the lockers I was leaning on. Looking up I saw Jade standing there, arms folded across her chest, an evil smirk gracing her lips. "What the heck." The boy said, rubbing his shoulder.

"Why are you still here?" She asked. He looked like he was about to say something else but another glare from Jade sent him running, tail between his legs.

I gave her a grateful smile. "Thanks. I try to get them to go awa- Hey!" She walked towards her locker rolling her eyes before I could finish my sentence.

Opening it she fixed me with a bored expression. "We're not friends, Vega. But it _is_ my fault they're all hounding you." She deposited some books in her locker and closed it again, then turned towards me. "Something you needed?"

All at once the thoughts that taunted me every day came to the forefront of my mind and I blurted, "Why did you kiss me?" I had to fight the urge to clap my hand over my mouth but could do nothing about the blush that was no doubt spreading on my cheeks. I've said it before, I wasn't usually one to sit back and keep my mouth shut, but sometimes my questions didn't come out as intended.

Jade's mouth twisted into a frown. "I didn't. But if you want to know why I _fake_ kissed you, it's because I'm an entertainer. I give the crowd what they want, and that's what they wanted."

I released a breath I had no idea I was holding and gave her a small smile. "I guess."

Her eyebrows perked up. "Why did you think I did it?"

I blushed again as my tongue tripped over my words. "N-n-no! No reason, I just- I-" Her laughter rang in my ears as she brushed past me, her shoulder knocking ever so roughly into mine on the way. I was left there by her locker, blushing profusely and cursing at myself internally.

Just as the bell rang another boy walked up to me. He paused for a moment as if the bell had startled him, and then smiled warmly at me. "Hey, you're Tori, right?"

I glared at him and felt a small amount of satisfaction as his smile faltered and fell away. "Yeah, I'm Tori. Yeah, Jade kissed me. No, it wasn't real, nor will it be happening again. Why can't people just leave me-"

He cut me off with his own words. "I wasn't going to ask about that."

"Oh." I said blushing once again, I seemed to be doing a lot of that lately. "Well, what's up, uh..."

"Ryder. Ryder Daniels." He stuck his hand out and I shook it quickly. His hands were sweaty for some unknown reason, and too big for my liking. But he was cute, nice hair and an adorable smile. "We have two classes together."

I wonder briefly how he's never caught my eye before, but it passes. I didn't come to Hollywood Arts to find a boyfriend. "Ryder, right. What's up?"

His hand made its way to his backpack strap and his head pulled back slightly, an air of confidence emanating from him. "I was just wondering if I could take you out some time? Maybe this weekend?"

My mouth quirked at the edges as I pondered his question. I could get over the sweaty hands thing, maybe, and he was definitely cute. At the very least it would help my brain to stop dwelling on Jade's ki- _fake_ kiss if I were kissing someone else. "Alright. Where and when?"

We ended up exchanging numbers with him saying he'd call me Friday to make plans. It would be my first real date since starting school here, and it was exciting to think about. I entered Sikowitz's class, a huge smile set upon my lips.

Sikowitz was later than I was and so I allowed myself some fantasizing time about the date. Where would he take me? I bet it'll be some place romantic. Thinking back to his smile I wondered if his lips would be as soft as Jade's. Wait, no, no Jade lips, ew. Ryder lips, yes.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

Ryder ended up meeting me at my locker on Friday to tell me that he would pick me up from my house on Saturday around seven. Today. I twirled in front of the full-body mirror that hung on my closet door. He told me to dress nice but casual, and so I put on my prettiest sundress. It was white but had so many yellow sunflowers that it could've passed as yellow too. My heels were the same bright yellow, and aside from my favorite ring dangling around my neck, I opted out of accessories.

A knock sounded throughout my empty house, Trina had used some new and foreign facial cream she was allergic to and had to be rushed to the hospital by my mom while my father was at work. I opened the door and smiled. He wore his usual black jeans but his shirt was a button-up dress shirt, untucked of course.

He almost looked even cuter than I remembered. It was obvious that I didn't disappoint him because his eyes roamed the length of my body two or three times before he offered his arm to me saying, "Shall we?"

I half expect to see a motorcycle sitting in my driveway as he escorts me out, but it's a slightly beat up Ford Taurus instead. His free hand lands on the back of his head and he looks at me, blushing slightly. "Yeah. My older brother borrowed my car a while back and smashed it up. I had to borrow my mom's."

"No need to explain." I replied, smiling. He opened my door for me, like a gentleman, and rushed around the front, jumping in the driver's side and buckling in. "Where are we going?" I asked as we pulled out slowly.

"There's this new place that just opened up. I've had reservations for weeks in advance, hoping you'd say yes." His grin was sheepish, but still confident. "I'm glad you did, by the way."

I smiled sweetly at him. At least he didn't make things awkward. "Me too."

We arrived at the restaraunt and not only did he open the car door for me and help me out, but he opened the door to go inside _and_ pulled my chair out for me when we were seated. It was shocking to say the least. Especially since the last two dates I'd been on were with jerks. One had taken me through the McDonalds drive-thru, and the other to a pizza parlor with booth seats.

The restaraunt, oddly named _Jori's_, was very fancy. We were greeted by an older man in an expensive looking suit. He'd glanced at what Ryder was wearing and sneered, but gave me a light smile. After Ryder told him the name the reservation was under we were seated by a waitress that wore a tight black dress and a small apron. The tables were spaced far enough to allow full privacy to whomever was seated, provided they didn't talk loud or eat like an animal, and the white table cloths were in direct contrast to the black chairs around them and maroon carpeting beneath.

After our waitress took our drink order, she sped off only to return minutes later with our drinks and some menus. She waited patiently as we looked over them, and when we ordered she was off again.

Ryder smiled at me. "Fancy place, I like it. The name reminded me of you."

I giggled. "I suppose it's similar." It reminded me more of a combination of mine and Jade's name, but saying that aloud would be weird. Ryder would look at me funny, no doubt, and if I ever told Jade, she'd probably - wait, why am I thinking about Jade?

"S-so." I said, shaking my head lightly to rid myself of those thoughts. "Tell me about yourself?"

He smiled again and sat up a little straighter. "Well I'm nineteen, and extremely attractive." He laughed and I humored him with a small laugh of my own. "I want to be the singer in a punk band, maybe metal. I'm not sure yet. I work out every day, play the guitar. There's not really anything else to tell." He looked up at me and his eyes screamed confidence. At this point, I was starting to think that his confidence was bordering on smug and conceited. "So you've kissed a girl, huh?"

My face dropped and I felt a slight rage bubble up. "No."

"But I heard-" He started, but I interrupted him.

"It was a stage kiss, to give the audience a shock. We were _acting_." Sitting back in a huff I folded my arms over my chest.

"Hey, relax. I was just trying to make conversation." His expression looked genuinely apologetic and so I nodded, unfolding my arms.

The rest of the date went semi-smooth. Once we got on the topic of his car the conversation was set. He yammered about it until we had finished our food and were heading out the door. I couldn't be bothered with remembering what make and model it was because he was arrogent and self-centered, which made me just want to go home.

He recovered some points by opening both the restaraunt door and his car door for me again, but that didn't make the date any less annoying. Two hours of painful conversation wasn't my idea of a date well done, and so when we were driving down the road at an almost too-fast speed, I let out a sigh of relief.

My hand made its way out of the open window as we drove to feel the cool air collide with it. "It's a nice night." I said, more to the blurring trees than Ryder. I couldn't help but notice that the way they melted together from the speed made it seem like they were one solid jade-colored substance, and I smiled, thinking that it was almost as pretty as Jade herself. Almost, but not quite.

"Yeah." Ryder said, interrupting my train of thought by taking my other hand in his. It was sweaty again, probably from gripping the steering wheel, but I let it happen, keeping mine limp.

My eyes closed as the cool wind whipped my hair all around. The date was over, there was no use fretting over it. Besides, I don't really care what Ryder thinks about me, my hair or anything else. When I opened them to see where we were turning, though, I realized we weren't going in the right direction. My house was the opposite way. "Um, Ryder? Where are we going?"

He squeezed my hand, probably in a useless attempt to comfort me, and chuckled. "Don't worry, it's not far."

I sat back in a huff. So the date wasn't over... Hooray? I just want to go home.

Not soon enough, he made a right turn onto a road with more bumps and stones than I could've ever imagined. I had to close my window as the dust erupted from the tires and danced around the car. "Where are we?"

He sent a conceited smile my way and said, "Well this is kind of our city's version of make out point. It's not the only one but it's the closest."

A noise of disgust escaped my throat as we passed another car that looked vaguely familiar. "You brought me to a make out spot?"

His smile faltered but didn't go away. "Yes. Do you not want to make out? Unless you just like kissing girls. I mean, I thought that we-"

"I'll make out with you." I interrupted. I didn't exactly want to but if I didn't it would probably spread around school that I was some sort of man-hating lesbian. Not that being a lesbian is bad, I've even come to terms with the fact that I've checked some of the girls out in the locker room before and after gym class with more than comparison on my mind. But after the whole incident with Jade, and the conversation we had Monday morning, that was the last thing I needed.

Jade would most likely mistake it as an admission of my liking her and hold it over my head. But I _don't_ like her, I can't. Can I? No, she's mean and heartless and cold. Who in their right mind, aside from Beck, could? Well Sinjin, but he's a little not-all-there-in-the-head-ish.

I really don't want to make out with this guy. "Listen," I started as the car rolled to a stop. "You're a great guy." Lie. "And making out with you would probably be really fun." Lie. "But my mom said I had to be home by nine-thirty." Lie. "And I have a lot of homework to do." Half lie. I did, but it's all stuff that I know I could get done easily in an hour at most. "I'd love to hang out again, though." Lie. "But just as friends for now?" Lie, I don't even want to be his friend at this point. "There's kind of... someone else." Lie. Lie? I nod inwardly. Lie.

He's frowning at me. "Is it Jade?"

"What?" I said loudly, and my hands hit the dashboard in a fit of frustration. "No, jesus. It was a _stage kiss_! Why can't people get that?"

Just then, his lips were on mine. They were rough and dry, and I pushed him away. No. No his lips were _not_ as soft as Jade's. Not at all. "What the hell are you doing?"

His mouth curled up into a menacing grin and he drew closer again. "Nothing you don't want me to do."

Without thinking, I yelled as loud as I could. "HELP!" But as soon as the word passed my lips, Ryder's tongue invaded my mouth, his body weighing heavily on me. He tasted of lobster, which is what he ate for dinner, and it made me gag.

I tried to push him away again but it was useless, he was ready for it this time and he was much stronger than I was. He grabbed my hands, pinning them above my head, and his lips left mine, trailing saliva down my chin and neck. Fear spread through me like ice in my veins and I cried out again, hoping the people in the car that was only a little ways behind us would hear me.

He gave an angry grunt as one of his hands covered my mouth. Is this how I'm going to lose my virginity? Some over-bearing asshole of a guy forcing himself on me? I couldn't hear much over the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my ears, but I could just barely make out the faint sound of a car door opening.

Out of nowhere a pale hand invaded my vision, and it grabbed a large fistfull of Ryder's hair, effectively yanking him off of me as he cried out in pain. As I saw him pulled from the vehicle, a pair of tanned arms encircled his neck, and locked him in a strong choke-hold.

It was Jade and Beck. The car we passed was Beck's car, that's why it looked familiar. Jade jumped into the driver's seat of Ryder's - or his mother's - car and turned the key. "Jade." I managed to whisper out. She glanced over and winked at me as she threw the clutch into reverse and backed out as fast as it would let us. In the beam of the headlights Beck was seen punching Ryder square in the jaw, and Ryder had retaliated by tackling him to the ground. "No! Beck!" I called out.

Jade swung us around with expert precision and in no time at all we were speeding back up the stone-filled road. "Jade, no! What about Beck? We can't steal Ryder's car!" I said frantically.

"Shut it, Vega. We're not stealing it, we're borrowing it. Beck's fine, he's stronger than that retard." The confidence she had in her boyfriend was astonishing, especially since Ryder was obviously much bigger than Beck.

All at once the reality of the situation hit me and I began to sob. I was almost raped, possibly. There was no telling how far he intended to go, but it was further than I wanted him to. I tried my best to compose myself, to put a halt to the tears, not wanting to bother Ja- wait Jade. She was there? _She_ saved me? She saved me. I smiled over at her but she didn't notice, her eyes focused on the road.

My heart swelled immediately at the randomness of it. She's sort of like a superhero, in a sense. She appears out of nowhere, whisks me away from the danger. But she _didn't_ thwart it completely herself. She left Beck to do that. Her sidekick? The thought made me giggle. No, not like a regular superhero, but still. My superhero, either way. Although if I ever said that to her I'd probably have a pair of scissors embedded in my forehead. That thought made me smile again as I rested my forehead against the cool glass of the window.

Jade's voice jolted me from my reverie. "Christ Vega. Do you always have to be smiling? You're acting like nothing even happened."

I looked over to her and her scowl was firmly in place, however there were other emotions that I couldn't read. Concern? Confusion? No, not Jade West. "I'm smiling because you saved me. I'll get over what happened, thank you for saving me."

Her eyes went back to the road immediately. "Oh." I could see her glance at me in her peripherals a few times and she swallowed hard, her voice coming out stern. "Don't you know better than to go to make out spots with boys you just met?"

"Well duh. I thought he was taking me home. I told him I didn't wanna make out with him, but he made some stupid comment about wanting to kiss girls more, and all week I've had stupid boys coming up to me about it. And did you know that I even had a girl ask me out?" At this point we were pulling into my driveway. Jade gave a curt laugh at the last comment. "I didn't even know how to react to that! I'd understand if the kiss was real, but it wasn't, and telling people that is like trying to convince them that the sky is falling."

By this time Ryder's keys were dangling in Jade's fingers and she was leaning against her door. "So it would be easier to handle if the kiss were real?"

"Uh." I thought about it. "No. Yes? I don't know. But it's frustrating. Everyone thinks we're going behind Beck's back now." She scoffed and I glared at nothing in particular. "I think Ryder only asked me out to test that theory, because he'd made those stupid comments more than once."

Jade moved closer, leaning over the center console. My breath got stuck in my chest, and my heart slammed into my ribcage as her soft lips pressed against mine, moving lightly. But all too soon they were gone. When she pulled back my eyes shot open, fixing her with a confused stare.

"There, see? Nothing. Now move on. Tell the idiots to fuck off." Aside from a light blush she looked as unphased by the kiss as her words sounded, and my heart dropped into the acids of my stomach. "Go inside, Beck and I can take care of _Ryder_." She sneered his name from her lips as if saying it left a bad taste in her mouth.

I nodded and exited the vehicle, waving as it pulled away. So I have a crush on Jade West. How horribly cliche...

**So the restaurants name, huh? And now we know that Tori has a crush on Jade, what a twist right? Jori kisses for the win?**

**Sorry this update took longer, I had to make plans and shit for my vacation. Totally cut into my writing time. I wanted to have at least 7 or 8 chapters before I had to leave for 2 weeks, but I just don't forsee that happening now. Forgive meeeee.**

**Review and then give me your words! NEED MORE WORDS. Don't make me get strict with you guys. ): I'd hate to have to administer a little tough love, really I would.**


	5. Fight

**Can I just say that Newsies and AMC are the shit? Yes, I can, because this is my story and you can't stop me. Teehee.**

**AMC6686: Jade IS getting protective of her. I was nervous that no one would notice, I hate making things obvious though. You rock, chick! Down with Ryder!**

**Newsies73: The way you gush flatters me all over the place. Homigawd never stop! And, AMC if you didn't see it, Newsies totally gave you a shout out! You guys keep me going. (:**

**krys1993: Those were all great suggestions, but you have to PM them to me! I'll let it slide for now though, since you've given me more words to ponder!**

**Jeremy Shane: Yes more! Always more, my friend!**

**Jay aka Jordan: Hell to the yes. Ryder's face needs to be smashed in. Lol. But Jade doesn't know she has a crush yet, so shh! Don't tell her!**

**escarlet 12: Thanks! It can only get better from here, right? Jori lovin'? We'll see!**

**I've decided to lift my reviewing restriction. From here on out, you DON'T have to review to suggest new words but you STILL have to PM your suggestions to me. Hopefully this will encourage more people to suggest words! Reviews are like my life's blood at this point, though. So please don't ever stop reviewing! **

**I got a total of 32 words suggested to me, and that was just AWESOME. Such an array of perfection to choose from, but my decision has been made! If it wasn't yours, please don't get discouraged. I honestly intend to take at least one from every single person that gives me words. Thanks to krys1993 for the new word!**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious and will not be receiving monetary gain for this story.**_

**These Words**

_-Fight-_

I drove from Tori's house as fast as I possibly could with my heart pounding an uneven rhythm in my ears. Tori's lips sent warmth throughout my entire body, and honestly, it was pissing me off. Nevermind that I'd wanted to try kissing her for real since our apology deal, and nevermind that it was even more pleasant than I thought it would be. All of that could be over-thought and dealt with later on, right now, I have a skull to bash in. Right now I'm on a mission.

I like to think it's just because I would feel rage this potent and intense towards someone - anyone - that would dare force themselves one someone else. But shit like that happens every day, and my life goes on without a hitch. No, it's just when it happens to someone I know. And no, no it's _not_ just because it's Tori. If someone tried it to Cat I'd be just as pissed.

I nod smugly only for it to turn into an angry head shake, a disgusted sound escaping my throat. Yeah, I would react with the same blinding rage, but even now I know it's different between the two. I'd be an idiot to think it wasn't. But god damnit! Who needs logical thought when you can have blind rage!?

My foot pressed into the gas peddle and I let out a wanton scream, exhiliration filling me, as I speed back towards Beck's favorite make out spot.

Upon my arrival I see that the two are still going at it although they're both obviously exhausted. But I'm not, and the blood was still coarsing through my veins with a fiery vengeance.

I slam the breaks and the driver-side door is open before it's come to a full stop. Without even thinking I sprint towards the boy that forced himself on Tori. "Jade, no!" Beck shouts, but his warning falls on deaf ears.

My body collides with his at full force and we're both sent toppling to the ground, me landing on top. Before he can react my fist collides with his face - twice. He recovers with an agitated grunt and I find myself beneath him. His fist raises but he pauses, noticing that I'm a woman, and I seize the opportunity. Quickly I thrust my heavy combat boot into his ribcage - his arm swings down, just barely clipping me in the mouth - and I've effectively sent him flying backwards to land on his ass.

I fly upright again and move to stand in front of him. He's gripping his ribs with one hand and his back with the other, and my satisfaction couldn't have been any sweeter. "You pathetic excuse for a human being." My boot flattens against his chest and I force him to the ground hard, grinning evily. "Stay away from my friends. Stay away from all women. And stay the _fuck_ away from Tori. Have we reached an understanding?"

He nods but I want to hear it, so the tip of my boot presses down against his chest, the heel against his aching ribs. He groans loudly and I can't help the sigh of excitement that escaped my lips. His pain was intoxicating. "Yes! God, get off me." He croaked out.

I leaned down and patted his swollen cheek roughly before lifting myself completely onto the foot that was against his chest, twisting my weight, and pushing off in the direction of Beck. Another groan and he was out, most likely having passed out from the intensity of the pain.

"You alright?" I asked him, lifting his face into my hands to examine the damage. His right eyes was swollen almost completely shit, blood still poured from his nose, and from what I could see, his lip was split in at least two places.

"I'll recover." He said spitting some blood onto the ground. "Might need to go to the hospital though."

I nodded and lead him to the passenger side of his car, helping him in. That's one thing I loved about Beck, he was manly and macho, but he wasn't an idiot when it came to injuries like most men. If something warranted a doctor's visit, he was more than willing to go.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

We spent a good six hours in the Emergency Room, and about a fourth of that time was spent in the waiting room. And then the rest was spent in the waiting room alone, since they only allowed family members to go back with him. Being his girlfriend wasn't enough.

The time was wasted on my phone, texting random numbers - anonymously, of course - that I was going to kill them in a variety of creatively gorey ways. Each time the police were mentioned, I gave myself a point. This was a game I often played with myself in my down time, and it never got old. Whenever I hit one hundred points I'd go out and buy something I really wanted. So far five of my newly treasured belongings were gained through this manner, including the new high-tech phone.

After about three hours the game grew boring, but I was fifty points closer to a new top that I've been eyeing. So I decided it was time to check The Slap and see what was going on. The front page immediately threw me into a fit of rage as a picture of my - _my_ boyfriend - appeared, and he wasn't alone. Alyssa Vaughn, and they're _smiling_ together? His _arm_ is _ around_ her?

The next two hours are spent digging, searching, and practically raping The Slap for any other sign of them. There's absolutely nothing, which should comfort me but it only enrages me further. What the hell was going on?

Out of nowhere Beck saunters through some nearby doors and I shoot him a glare. Nothing out of the ordinary - not for me, anyway. And so his smile doesn't falter. "They told me they didn't have a problem letting people back there. They just thought that you were the one that did this to me." He chuckled and limped his way towards me.

"I might be this time." I say through gritted teeth. His confused stare causes anger-induced spots to flash in my vision as I show him the photo. "Care to explain?"

Realization dawns and he laughs out loud. "Oh, yeah, that. We just go to the same yoga class. Some paparazzi showed up on the way out and I posed for a picture. It's not a big deal."

My head throbs with exhaustion and I rub my temples as I storm out of the hospital. "Not a big- Not a big deal? It's fucking Alyssa Vaughn!" I scream out. Looking down I spot a small rock, and with blind frustration I scoop it up and send it hurling at his chest.

"Ah!" He gasps, more out of shock than pain. "Jade, come on. You're blowing this way out of proportion. Can we please just go to my trailer? I'm tired and sore."

My lips purse together and I nod. He deserves to be left alone, if anything. He fought with Ryder for at least a half an hour while I drove Tori home. "Fine. I'll take you home but then I'm going home too."

"Wha- Come on, it's not a big deal!" He said, his frustration breaking through.

"I'm done talking about this, Beck. You need rest, we'll talk tomorrow." And with that, we're in the car driving to his house.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

I didn't end up going home last night, deciding sleeping next to Beck while I was angry at him was still a better choice than going home and glaring at my T.V. screen until I fell asleep. He tried to talk to me more than once but I ignored him, and it wasn't long before he was overcome with exhaustion, drifting peacefully into a sound sleep.

Me? I allowed my rage to consume me just a little bit longer. Pure hatred for both Ryder _and_ Alyssa scorching my black heart for a few more moments. Ryder had no right to force himself on Tor- any woman. Ever. My stomach churned in disgust just thinking about it. And Alyssa? Well she'll just have to die now.

When I woke up this morning I opted out of human contact for the day. My face was kind of sore and I just wasn't in the mood to deal with people. When I glanced in the mirror I noticed an angry looking bruise on my right cheek in the exact spot that Ryder's hand collided with me. I pressed on it and the sting made me smile. It would be there for two or three days at the most.

Most of the day was spent thinking about the shit with Alyssa Vaughn which served as the perfect distraction from my kiss with Tori. That hadn't crossed my mind at all until just now, and I think that now is a good time to push it away again. Let's hate on Alyssa some more. And oh, do I ever hate her.

By the time Beck got home from hanging out at Karaoke Dokie with our... friends, I was livid all over again and we fought for the rest of the night before I took my car keys and just left him there. I drove around for a long while before heading home and locking myself in my room. The rest of the night was a blur, I cried, I fumed, I cried again. My rage wouldn't subside until I forced myself to fall asleep.

This morning was no better. I was groggy as hell from all of the crying and my alarm clock ended up meeting a wall. My morning routine was executed as sluggishly as time would allow, and by the time I was ready, I knew I'd be late to school if I didn't speed.

As soon as I pulled into the parking lot the arguments continued, Beck coming at me before I was even able to get out of my car, all the while his phone ringing the telltale text message tone at random times. And so we carried it into the building, where - apparently - he decided he'd had enough, because he turned and walked away from me, jotting down the stairs towards his locker.

"Hey, we're not done talking about this." I said angrily, following him.

"I am." He said dismissively, which only fueled the fire in my chest.

"Well I'm _not._" I retorted.

He turned to me again. "Listen, Alyssa Vaughn is just a friend."

"Yeah," I scoffed, "A friend whose already sent you six text messages today." And as if some kind of texting angel smiled down upon me, his phone went off again, proving my point. "Seven." I said, gritting my teeth to keep from screaming.

His hand went to his bag and he said, "You don't know that's her." There was no conviction in his voice though.

"Is it?" I asked, teeth still gritted, and bared to him.

Slowly he pulled his phone from his pocket and checked the message. The way his eyes averted immediately to the wall and then to me told me the answer, which is exactly what I expected. "What's your favorite tropical fruit?"

I sighed heavily. "The mango. And I _don't _like your new little _relationship_ with Alyssa Vaughn."

He waved the phone in front of my face, not particularly trying to taunt me, but that's exactly what it did. "It's just a text message."

"And waht does it say?" I said a little more loudly than I probably should have as he opened his locker. "Maybe, _'Hi Beck, my daddy just got richer and I got prettier, let's make out!'_"

His locker closed with a snap and he turned back to me, once again, saying, "Okay, let me see if I understand you."

"Let's see if you do." I spit back.

"Because you and I date I can't be friends with other girls?" He asks, his hand moving that way it always does when he thinks he's going to win this one.

"You can be friends with ugly girls." Okay, even to me that sounded dumb, but I'm pissed. Anything is liable to come out of my mouth at this point. "But not girls who are gorgeous socialites who text message you a hundred times a day!"

"You know- you-" He started, but then he spotted someone out of the corner of his eye. "Tori, Tori. Can you come here?"

I turned just in time to see her chin tilt up and a look of suspicion cross her features. "What?"

I moved aside so she could stand in front of Beck. "If you were my girlfriend-"

"Oh, _great _way to start the question." I said, the sarcasm thick on each word that passed my lips.

"-would you be all freaked out that I'm just friends with Alyssa Vaughn?" He finished.

"Ugh! Who cares what she thinks?" I say, waving a hand in dismissal. The fact that she was even brought into it pisses me off to no end.

"Honestly? I wouldn't love it." She says, adjusting her purse on her shoulder.

"_I_ care what she thinks." Stepping to her my arms wraps aroung her shoulder and I see a light blush form on her cheeks as she glances my way. Suddenly I'm very aware of how close she is and my resolve falters.

"How can you say that? You don't even-" Beck starts to protest, but Tori cuts him off.

"You know what, I _really _don't wanna be in the middle of this."

Her body moves away from mine and I quickly grab her wrist, pulling her back into me. "No you stay right here." Not because I like how warm you are beside me, I think to myself, ignoring the sounds of protest she's making.

"You don't think a girlfriend should just trust her boyfriend?" Beck asks.

Uh oh. "No, I-I do-"

"Get outta here Tori." I snap at her.

"I'd love to!" She says, spinning around to leave once again.

But then Beck puts his hand up, and says, "Stay." And she's turning around with an exasperated groan to join the fight once again.

Finally, I've had enough of it. "Alright, you know what?"

"Tell me what." He says, looking at me with an overly-annoyed expression.

"No, no!" Tori interjects, placing her hand on my upper arm. My skin tingles a little but I can't be bothered to notice right at this moment. "Don't tell him what!"

"We're done." I state, motioning lightly with my hand.

"Jade!" Tori says in shock.

"So you're breaking up with me?" He asks with unbelieveing look on his face.

"No, no, no, no, she's not." Tori stutters out, her eyes darting between the two of us.

"Yeah, I am." I said, storming of in a huff.

My head is swimming with the emotions that are slowly consuming me, I just barely hear Beck call out, "You're being ridiculous!"

"What do you care?" I scream in reply. "I'm not your girlfriend anymore." And with that I'm off to my next class - furious and almost broken.

**Okay, so not the most satisfying of updates, considering it's pretty much the episode 'Jade Dumps Beck' with a little bit thrown onto the beginning. Don't worry, it's going to continue in the next chapter. I just couldn't fit any more in here without feeling like it was going to be too long. **

**And so with that, I tell you that this wasn't my first choice of the words, it was just necessary. But there were two fights, if you only count Jade and Beck's numerous arguments as one, and so this word was perfect. So thank you, krys. (: ONWARD TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! Which I already have the word for, I'm going to use the one originally intended for this chapter so you're all off the hook this time! MWAH!**


	6. Glasses

**And now to finish where we left off. (: A big thanks to Newsies for the word, this is going to be a little different since it has to be on Tori's POV. I didn't think that one through, but I GOT THIS. I hope. MOOD: Thinky. :P (Bahahahahaaaaa.)**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious and this isn't bringing me money!**_

**These Words**

_-Glasses-_

Being caught in the middle of a fight between a boyfriend and a girlfriend sucks. But it's made even worse if you have a crush on one of them - and it's not even the one that makes sense to have a crush on! I have to keep telling myself that I did _not_ secretly want them to break up. That would be mean. And so wrong. _Wrong._

"Hey, you listening?" Andre asked shouldering me lightly.

"Hm? Oh no, not really. I'm sorry, Andre. I'm just all blah right now." I said waving a hand around my head.

"Yeah. This whole thing with Beck and Jade has everyone all tense." He replied.

"I know. And I just feel so bad for them. They've been together how long? Poor Jade. Poor Beck! Oh, I'm so conflicted!" I gushed as we walked away from the Grub Truck.

Out of nowhere I notice Jade sitting alone and my heart breaks a little. I gesture to her with my head causing him to notice her too. Panic graces his features. "Mm mm." He protested. "No." He tries to turn and walk away but I grab a firm hold onto his backpack and drag him back. He lets out a frustrated grunt but follows me to Jade's table nonetheless.

"Hey!" I say cheerfully while sitting down.

Andre plops next to me giving her an unenthusiastic, "Hey Jade."

"You look a little like a lady who could use some lunch buddies." I continued, ignoring his attitude.

She scoffs as her fork stabs into her food repeatedly. "Please."

"Well, I just thought that you were mad because of-" I started, but Jade was quick to interject.

"_I_ broke up with Beck, okay? _I_ dumped him." Her eyes were a particularly intense shade of green at this moment, so I decided to drop it.

But that didn't stop me from studying her. She looked angry, of course. What else is new? But underneath her glare I could see the pain. I wanted to comfort her so badly but was trying to do that worth the risk of a limb? Possibly an eye? Maybe.

Scooting closer, I notice the bruise on her cheek that I haven't been able to ask her about yet. "Hey what happened to your cheek?" I asked her. She fixed me with a bored stare and I paled. "Don't tell me Ryder did that."

She shrugged. "He got the worse end of it, believe me."

I heard what she said but it did nothing to soothe me. "First Beck's all broken, an- and now _you're_ hurt? If I could just- I'd... I'd..." I couldn't even speak through the rage I felt inside of me. He hit Jade! He hit _Jade_!

"Jesus, Vega. Relax." Jade snapped at me.

Just then there was a commotion in the parking lot that caught our attention, and when we looked up, we saw a yellow lamborgini was pulling in. "Woah!" Andre exclaimed animatedly.

Inside was... oh no. Beck with... "Is that Alyssa Vaughn!?"

"Yeah." Jade said harshly, fixing her evil gaze upon me. "So?"

"Nothing. She's gross!" I replied quickly, lifting a fry from my plate and offering it to her. "French fry?" Not my best of moments, but okay! I'm nervous! And Jade scares me.

Andre was clueless, of course. "Gross? Look at her!" He pointed with his whole hand, as if one finger wasn't enough. "Oh! That girl is _smokin' _hot, I'm serious!" His eyes finally met Jade's and the expression that lay in them - hurt, betrayed - was almost enough to make me reach out to her. "I should shut up." He said ducking his head.

"Look," I started but she just shook her head.

"Don't bother." Her burrito dropped from her hand and she grabbed her purse. Before I could think of anything to say - which is sad because there was plenty of time - she was off. Walking as fast as she could to get as far away from the situation as possible.

I couldn't help myself as I bolted after her. "Jade!" I shouted. She didn't stop so I tried again. "Jade!"

She stopped and when she turned around her glare was enough to hit my physically. The heat, the fire that she shot at me with her eyes was enough to melt my shoes to the concrete. "Don't, Vega. Leave me the fuck alone."

"B-but-" I stuttered out.

"No!" She yelled at me. Her back was to me once again, but this time she ran and I didn't follow.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

I tried my best to focus on the book in my hands. I really did, but Jade's face kept flashing through my mind, the hurt, the anger. The bruise that sent bolts of rage through my chest. It's been over twenty four hours since I've seen her, she skipped school today. I don't have her number and I don't know where her house is - not that I'd go there. Scary.

I tried my best to get comfortable when I got home, pajama shorts and a tank top. And I have my softest blanket draped over my legs. Comfort, check. But this stupid book refuses to hold my attention and it's irritating! I sighed as I took my glasses off of my face and hung them on the collar of my shirt. Defeated by literature.

Just then there was a knock at my door. Regardless of having no idea who was on the other side, I smoothed my hair a little. Which was pointless considering as soon as it opened a crying blur of black leapt into my arms. I don't think she would have even cared if it wasn't me, although my tummy tells me that I'm happy I'm the one that opened the door.

"J-Jade?" I asked, pushing her away a little so that I could see her more clearly. Lines of mascara stained her cheeks and her usually vibrant green eyes were flat in their color. Still mezmerizingly pretty though.

"I know I broke up with him, but it still hurts. And it still sucks." She sobbed out burying her face in my neck. "He was always the one I turned to but now..." She trailed off.

It's just like Jade to get straight to the point. No 'Hey, I need someone.' or even 'You're going to comfort me, Vega. Get over it.' Just jumping right into it. And after she feels better I'm sure she'll leave and force herself to forget that she was even here.

I lead us to the couch, pushing the bitter thoughts away. I hadn't even started to comfort her before my mind started with them. Crushes suck. If it were anyone else, my crush breaking up with someone would give me hope. But not only is it Jade - my sworn enemy - but her and Beck are in love, it's easy to see. They'll be back together in no time at all.

She plopped down and I sat down next to her, placing my arm around her back. She leaned into me, her head resting on my chest and despite the gloom of the situation, my body reacted to the close proximity. My heart rate jumped and my breathing sped up ever so slightly.

A small chuckle escaped her lips and it startled me, causing me to jump a little. "Your heart is going nuts. I'm not going to hurt you Vega. You can chill." She spoke with her eyes still shut tightly, her body was still shaking but she breathed through her nose heavily in an attempt to regain control.

My hand started to move in circles across her back. "I know." I said. There was really nothing else I could say.

It didn't take long for her to compose herself - a few minutes at the most - and when she did, she sat up wiping at her eyes with her sleeves. "Here," I said grabbing her hands to stop her. "I can get you some tissues."

I stood up to do just that but she gripped my hands tighter in hers and pulled, stopping me. "Tori." Her voice was weak but I heard her - she used my first name. I sat back down and just looked at her, shock evident on my face. Her lips quirked up in a small smile but it fell away as quickly as it had come.

Her hands left mine and I missed the contact immediately. She wiped at her face again before turning to me, locking our gazes. "Am I pretty?"

My mouth opened and then closed before I responded. "Yes, of course." This wasn't something I ever expected to hear from Jade West.

Her eyes softened, and she continued. "Am I as pretty as Alyssa Vaughn?"

I shook my head this time. "No." Her eyes closed at this, head turning away, and a sigh escaped her lips, as if she were expecting this answer. I grabbed her chin and gently forced her look at me. Her eyes opened and locked with mine again, the sadness they held, the pain, made my heart clench tight in my chest. "I think you're gorgeous, and Alyssa Vaughn couldn't even dream of being as pretty as you."

She smiled then, a real genuine, heart-felt smile. The beauty of it knocked the air right out of my lungs. At this moment, this Jade - with her messy hair, running mascara, and small purple bruise - was more beautiful to me than any other girl in the world could ever hope to be.

The urge to kiss her almost overwhelmed me, but I took my hand away from her chin and moved away before I did something stupid. My fingers started to play with my glasses absentmindedly as I said, "I'll go grab the tissues."

I stood up again and this time Jade allowed it, she had a confused expression on her face. I took my time walking to the kitchen using this opportunity to tame my heartbeats. "Since when do you wear glasses?" She asked me.

"Uh." I said, grabbing the tissue box off the counter and making my way back to her. "Since I was a little girl? I only need them to read."

She used a tissue to clean herself up as much as possible and turned to me again. Without saying a word she took the glasses from my shirt and carefully put them on my face. Her fingers traced the stems, grazing the tips of my ears and ghosting through my hair. "You look good in glasses."

Suddenly, Jade was standing again, fishing in her purse for something, leaving me in a shocked catatonic state. My eyes shot up to look at her and there were now sunglasses covering her eyes. With three large strides she was opening my front door, but before she disappeared behind it, she turned to flash me one more smile. "Thanks Vega."

Well so much for relaxing tonight. Or ever again.

**Gah! I totally intended on having this done and up, like, an hour after I posted the last one but - well fuck, my brain is all over the place as of late. If I get enough words in the short amount of time I have, I may be able to get ONE more chapter up before I'm gone for two weeks. Don't be shy now!**


	7. Dream

**Phew! Finally an update! I've been going insane not being able to write for so long! It's been over a week, does that make me a sad human being for missing it after such a short time? Lol. This'll most likely be my only update during my vacation, I'm here for about another week or so. So enjoy it while you can!**

**The 'Rated M' stuff starts in this chapter, kiddies be warned, but it's most likely not what you're thinking. Lol. More of my drabble awaits you at the bottom of the chapter. (: This word comes from a real life friend, you know who you are! Thanks. :P**

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Victorious, I won't get money for this. Don't bother suing me!**_

**These Words**

_-Dream-_

My alarm to wake up for school won't be going off for another two hours or so, and yet here I am awake in bed, way too early in the morning. My dreams have been restless lately. I'd wake up multiple times in the dead of night either screaming from a terrible nightmare or panting from the pent up sexual frustration that's been coiling within me for a week or so now. This morning was a bad mixture of both and it's irritating. If my bedroom wasn't in the basement of the house I'm almost positive my father would use my angsty antics as an excuse to commit me. That would be just what I need.

When you go from having sex regularly - whenever you feel the urge come about - to nothing at all, it'll start to fuck with you in more ways than one. The frustration sets in and sometimes it's the only thing you can think about for hours. Unfortunately my body has started reacting and adjusting to the loss of constant satisfaction.

Well... that's being generous. Beck was by no means terrible in bed, he was more or less satisfactory, like most teenage boys. The majority of the time, though, he'd end up having to use his hand or his mouth to finish the job. It got a little frustrating at times but the love I have for hi- had... The love I _had_ for him. Fuck.

The familiar sadness settled itself within my chest weighing down on me like a semi-truck, making my breathing shallow. I forced my eyes shut as tight as I possibly could - fists closing in death grips on my pillow - and I'm screaming on the inside, begging the tears to go away. The Beck and Jade pretense, _before_ the break up when the love was still _alive_. The past-tense, _after_ I sundered my heart to shreds, the love we _had_, the love we _shared_ is no more. Sometimes my brain gets them mixed up, I'm still adjusting to life without him. It may have been a dysfunctional relationship but it was still _our_ love, he was still mine.

It's been three weeks since I left him, since _I_ left _him_. Fuckin' idiot. Why? It's stupid... The passion that was once between us had gone months before - a three year relationship could have that effect - and as a result we both started getting more and more irritated with each other. So when I saw the picture of him getting all friendly with a beautiful superstar, rich and talented and... _nice_ to people, naturally my brain went right to him finding that lost passion elsewhere.

He's been driving to school with Alyssa Vaughn damn near every day. I've never witnessed them kissing, or even hugging for that matter. Nothing like that at all. They act like nothing more than friends - if you don't count the shameless and obnoxious flirting she's always doing. Obviously I had been wrong but I'd sooner slash Vaughn's tires with my best pair of scissors rather than ever admitting to that fact.

I smiled to myself at the thought. The scissors Tori bought me would be perfect for the task. They're solid, durable, and they'd certainly be able to handle tearing into the rough rubber of a car tire. It might bend the tips, possibly chip them, but it would _so_ be worth it.

I huffed as I hoisted myself off of my bed and tore through my large closet packed with dark-colored clothing. School starts in a few hours - plenty of time but still - I wasn't about to jeopardize my future, my dreams, over a few teenage frustrations that won't last forever. At first I opted into an icy, almost painfully cold shower to placate my raging hormones, but soon after that was achieved I turned the knob that read _'Hot' _all the way to the right, as far as it could go. The heated water bellowed down all around me, engulfing me and staining my pale skin red.

The air was thick with the steam but it was still easier to breathe than it is when my mind dwells on the large weight on my lungs. I forced my mind to concentrate on the pain the scalding water provided and it was enough of a distraction to get me through another shower without breaking down. But all too soon I was stepping out of my liquid paradise thoroughly cleaned, but not quite ready to face another day full of Beck. Time for school, time to act, time to pretend. I hate this.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

As per usual I was one of the first students to arrive, everyone else - it seemed - had parents that bother. There were a few stragglers wandering about, most likely playing catch up for a few classes or working on projects, but other than them the halls of Hollywood Arts remained deserted. I made this a habit, showing up early, that way I was always ready and waiting in class before anyone else even showed up. Less of a chance to run into Beck outside of our mutual classes this way.

Every time I'd see him in the hall or sitting at the Asphalt Cafe, the urge to walk up and embrace him would hit me, but then my brain would catch up to the present and my soul would ache just a little bit more than last time. At these moments I would imagine my heart tearing itself out of my chest - leaving nothing but the gaping-hole feeling I've had for so long - and plunging to the floor, splattering in a dilapidated mess at his feet. ... Okay, so I'm a bit of a drama queen, the Vaughn situation has made that abundantly clear, but at least I'm creative about it, and the gore-factor is just fantastic.

Just as I was about to close my locker a voice sounded right next to my ear, frightening the piss out of me. "Hey Jade!" I jumped hitting my already rising hand hard on a pair of scissors jutting out of my locker door, and watching my bag topple to the floor. The contents spilled all over the place and many of my writing utensils rolled away.

I clutched my bleeding hand to my chest and whirled around to see Tori staring at me with worry-filled eyes. "Fuck Vega! Don't do that!" I shouted loudly.

She ignored my outburst - she's gotten good at doing that - and grabbed my hand, yanking even harder when I met her with resistance. "It's fine." I mumbled, fighting a bit more but ultimately giving in. Not only was I off to a bad start this morning but I was in no mood to put up a fight at the moment. Besides, someone that actually _wants_ to make sure I'm okay, who am I to deny them?

Out of nowhere a pleasant scent enters my nose - be it perfume, shampoo or both, I don't have a clue - as she begins to dig through her bag for something unknown to my wandering mind. It was nice, _very_ nice, kind of like a single blend of green apples and vanilla but both scents just strong enough to be discernible on their own. I never really had the urge, or right state of mind, I guess, to notice before, but Tori smells absolutely delicious. Wait, right state of mind? I had to be heart broken and sexually deprived in order to get a good whiff of Vega?

At this point I could feel the now-familiar annoyance of dissatisfaction boiling up inside of me again and I almost crushed my lips to Tori's right then and there. Yeah, sure, it's been close to a month now, but really? Am I so sexually unfulfilled that all it takes is a _smell_ to get me going? And _Tori's_ smell at that?

I'm broken from my irritating thought process as a shooting pain penetrates my palm and travels up my arm a bit. Sucking in a sharp breath I watch as she cleans away the small amount of blood with a tissue, savoring the pain and the distraction it provided. "Sorry..." She says sincerely. I scoff at her through slightly gritted teeth. That's just so like Tori, even if it's a necessary act she still apologizes for causing pain.

When the wound is as clean as she could possibly get it she folds another tissue neatly and presses it into my palm, covering the small gash. "You're probably gonna want to get a band-aid on that but you'll be alright." She says, flashing me another apologetic smile.

The pain has settled into nothing more than a dull throb, successfully shattering my only distraction. Her scent assaults me twice as hard and her eyes captivate me for a second, they're deep chocolate-brown shades enticing my already riled up senses. Taking a small step back I had to resist the urge to flatten myself against the line of cool steel lockers standing behind me. "Yeah... Yeah. I'll be fine, I'm good." I say fighting the blush I could feel creeping up on me. "But my shit's still all over the floor."

I knelt down and started gathering my books together but Tori spun around. I looked up, ready to start yelling at her to help but she wasn't leaving me to pick up my stuff alone. She walked away to wrangle up the pens and pencils that had rolled across the floor.

My mouth went dry and fell open as she bent down, facing away from me, to pick one up. At that moment, that innocent little movement caused her short skirt to lift up just enough to flood my mind with an array of unsavory images. Her long tan legs brought the moisture back into my mouth at full force, and my eyes raked helplessly over her entire body. She accidentally kicked a pen away from her just as she was about to bend over and pick it up, causing her to giggle a little.

I'm in the middle of an open hallway - my _school's_ hallway - gawking at Tori Vega like some sex-starved lunatic. _'Gawking at Tori Vega.' _The sentence echoed in my mind a few times as she shuffled about, her hair floating unfettered in the air around her. _'Gawking at..'_ My brain snapped back to reality. I need to get the hell out of this situation. _Now._ Hastily I scooped up the remaining books and papers at my feet, standing up and trying desperately to ignore the loathsome coiling in my stomach. She bounded over to me and smiled her usual pleasant smile, it was as if there _wasn't_ a personal war going on between my brain and my body. She dropped my utensils in my bag carefully saying, "There you go."

My heartbeat pounded unevenly against my rib cage and I swallowed hard. "Yeah thanks." I said quickly, lifting my wounded appendage. "Um." Work brain! "Hand. Nurse. See you later." I couldn't help myself as I took off towards the nurses office, I pushed past her making sure to let our hand and shoulder brush against one another.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

That brief run in with Tori ruined the rest of the day for me. Like, completely. Not just in the two classes I shared with her, but, All. Damn. Day. I tried my best to pay attention to Sikowitz, my first class, but soon found it to be futile and so my mind wandered repeatedly to those same unsavory images, over and over and over again. Lather, rinse, repeat for every single class there-after.

Even at home with my air conditioner spewing its frigid air on full blast, my fan cranked up to its highest setting, pointing directly at me, and my favorite movie blaring the sweet sounds of murder, my mind still found its way back to Tori's soft tanned skin and provocatively sexy body. "AHHH!" I screamed out loud as my hands flew to my head, eyes widening in horror. I did not just think that way about Tori Vega. It's one thing to ogle her because you're sexually frustrated and would most likely be prone to check anyone out that isn't Sinjin Van Cleef, but it's another to get so descriptive about it.

By the time I was able to regain control over my hormones, I was both physically and mentally drained. The intensity of all of my more recent sleepless nights hit me all at once and I slipped into unconsciousness almost instantly.

_I ran as fast as I could after the brunette, both of us laughing carelessly as we barreled past the many vibrant trees of the forest. She stumbled over a root momentarily - allowing me to gain some ground, and I called out to her, "Watch your step, Vega!"_

_"Don't you worry about me, West." I could hear her voice but her lips didn't move, it was like she was all around me. She was still laughing giddily, spinning around each new tree that she came upon. I could hear both voices, the real Tori, and the disembodied Tori. Oddly enough, it didn't scare me a bit, in fact, I relaxed into an almost intoxicating state of happiness._

_I caught up to her, sneaking stealthily around the current tree she was encircling and popping up just in time to yell close to her face, "Got ya!" I snatched her hand in mine as she let out a startled scream that quickly dissolved into more giggling, and pulled her so that our bodies were flush against each other._

_I was about to kiss her when she turned her head to stare at the log cabin. It was quaint, cute even. A come-hither smile spread across her lips and she took both of my hands in hers, tugging me towards the front door. As we passed over the threshold I realized we were in my bedroom. Perfect._

_I wasted no time tearing the clothes from her, they pulled away easily as if they were nothing more than a towel wrapped lazily around her body. Her lips crashed into mine and I pushed into her, leading her to my bed. She fell backwards with a giggle, bringing me down on top of her. My mouth latched onto her neck sucking at her pulse point, eliciting a soft moan from Tori's lips, but her breath hitched, interrupting the sultry noise as my teeth grazed her skin._

_Her hands buried themselves deep in my hair as she moaned, "Jade..." Her voice echoed and reverberated all around me, compelling me to explore further. My tongue traced down her collar bone and directly down to her right breast. I locked eyes with her just as I took the already hardened bud between my teeth and flicked it with my tongue. Her mouth opened as if to moan again but instead a loud buzzing sound erupted and echoed loudly all around us. I jumped up pressing my hands hard against my ears and shutting my eyes tight to try to drown it out._

It worked, the buzzing was no longer echoing, more like a dull annoyance in the back of my mind. My body shook as I realized it was just a dream. A very _vivid_, heart pounding, pantie-wetting dream. My fist slammed down hard on my alarm clock as the irritation and frustration settled within me just like every other morning. I was getting very sick of this dull routine.

**Okay, so I was going to have, like, three dreams but I just don't have the time to write them all! I'm sorryyyy! I promise that after my vacation is over my updates will pick up! Give me them words my pretties!**


	8. Dream, Part Two

**I didn't get any word suggestions this time. None. D: That's not nice guys! So I'm starting the tough love! After this chapter, I need word suggestions from at least 4 different people and I'll update, but not until then. And it'll go up by one each update until I get to 10. Once we get that far I think the minimum will stay at 10, that way I'm not getting all like, "20 people didn't suggest, nyahh!" So PM me some suggestions or no more updates!**

**Due to my lack of suggestions and the last chapter not being all that I wanted it to be, I'm going to use this as an opportunity to fix it! This will be a chapter 7 part two! So this is it! This is going to be everything I wanted the last chapter to be, and probably more! And yes, that means it's still in Jade's point of view.**

_**Disclaimer: Me no own Victorious and me no get money for this.**_

**These Words**

_-Dream, Part Two-_

_'Beck's trailer door slammed in my face. "Beck please!" I yelled out to him. I recieved only his laughter in response and my heart broke in several places. "Please!" I shouted again, my fists hammering dents into the side of his mobile home._

_"I don't want you anymore Jade." His voice was cold, sending an ominous chill up my spine. "You're nothing but a bitch, I never loved you."_

_I fell to my knees and a sob escaped my lips. "I hated every minute that we were together." He continued. "Alyssa is better than you in every way. Leave me alone, you selfish whore."_

_"You're lying!" I screamed into the night. But the trailer was no longer anywhere within my sight._

_"No I'm not." Tori's soft voice caressed my aching soul. "I meant what I said, Jade."_

_I looked up at her in confusion and she offered her hand to me. "W-what did you say?" I asked her._

_She giggled and I couldn't help but give a small smile. "I said Beck's an idiot. I'd choose you over Alyssa Vaughn any day. Come on, let's get out of here."_

_My hand reached for hers but before I could grab it she changed into Alyssa Vaughn herself. Her grip tightened to a painful extent as she said, "He's mine now. I want him and I get what I want. Too bad for you though." Her head shot back as she let out an intense laugh that had my body trembling in defeat. _

_Suddenly she pulled my arm so hard that I stumbled into her. But it wasn't Alyssa's arms that wound around my waist, she was Tori again. "It's okay." She cooed in my ear, pulling me closer. "I won't let you fall anymore, Jade."_

_Without hesitation I allowed myself to crumble into her, yearning for the safe feeling that only she could provide. "Tori, why are you being so nice to me? I've been nothing but horrible to you. I deserve this." I cried into the crook of her neck._

_Her hand left the small of my back to run through my hair. "You don't deserve this pain. And I like being nice to you. It makes me happy."_

_"But why?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper._

_A chuckle ran through her body as she said, "Because it does. Because I lov-"_

**BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!**

My alarm clock forced me into consciousness and I screamed out loud. My breathing was labored as I scrambled to make sense of the dream that was clouding my thoughts. Beck and Alyssa... and Tori helping me. Beck's words spun around my head until I couldn't tell reality from my dream-state. I wish I could go one night without dreaming a single dream.

Tori always helps me, Tori helps anyone that needs it. But the fact that she's been so... present in my life at this dreadful time seems to have stood out to me. It's easy to see why I would be craving her companionship, and it would be fine if I wasn't so... wound up.

The past few days have been the absolute worst. Tori is relentless in her efforts to talk to me at any chance she has. But I can't handle it! The sound of her voice forces thoughts of her moaning in ecstasy into my head, and her intoxicating scent has my mouth watering. It should worry me that the majority of my distasteful thoughts are about her, but I've had a few about Cat, and even one about Andre too. So I tell myself constantly that it's just because she was the first to really catch my attention in this state, and that's why I'm lusting for her the most.

Oddly enough, I haven't had any about Beck. It's not like I don't want him in that way again, I would kill to have him back. Part of me thinks it's the prospect of new endeavors available, new sexual opportunities to experience and scrutinize. Another part believes that I'm shutting that part of him and I out to guard my feelings. All of me is in agreement with both sides of the argument.

He's tried talking to me more than once, but I refuse. The strength that I posessed while I was with him has dwindled. Talking to Beck would end in one of two ways; with me begging him to take me back, or with me begging him to - well let's just say the outlook isn't appealing to me in _any_ sense. Constant streams of text messages I can't bring myself to read, some phone calls with voicemails I never listen to, none of which is making it any easier to get over him.

The frustrations are endless and I'm nearing my wits end. To punctuate this thought I slammed my locker shut, listening as some of the magnets on the inside flew off. Glancing around me I noticed Beck standing at Tori's locker, waiting for her. I had half a mind to march up to him and demand that he stop talking to her.

But why? Am I getting posessive over her just because she'd be a perfect match for him? That wouldn't be fair. She's a perfect match for anyone, hell she'd be a perfect match for _me_. Why should Beck get her? No, I mean why should _she_ get _Beck_. I shook my head, trying to unscramble the words bouncing around my disarranged brain.

Tori rounded the corner and greeted Beck with a cheerful smile, which he returned. He spoke to her while she put her inessential books in her locker and I watched as her expression became uncomfortable. I stared with intrigue in my eyes as her body language went from friendly to awkward. I've had quite a bit of time to study and comprehend her movements, and despite the fact that it was all against my own will, I learned how to read her quite well.

In her uncomfortable moments Tori's weight shifts from one foot to the other multiple times, and her smile usually gets too big for the current conversation. Her fingers absentmindedly play with her hair or her shirt. It's kind of... cute...

A smile made its way to my lips as she waved goodbye to Beck and turned to see me. Uh oh. Quickly I adjusted my bag on my shoulder and took off at a jog towards my next class. "Jade, wait!" She called after me, running full-out to catch up.

I sighed heavily and changed my breathing pattern to breathe only through my mouth. "What, Vega?" I asked, sounding quite annoyed.

"Um, I... See there's-" She stopped and her body exhibited the tell-tale signs of being ill at ease once again. This troubled me, although I haven't the faintest idea of why. I never cared how she felt around - or about - me before.

"Spit it out, class starts in five minutes." I snapped.

"Beck asked me to talk to you..." She said, trailing off. "He said he-"

"I don't care what Beck has to say." Tori jumped a little as I interrupted her but brushed it off.

"I th-think you might."

"No really. I don't care what Beck wants, or what Beck said. And I _really_ don't care that you _think_ I may or may not care about. So if that's all..." I spoke with more conviction than I truly felt. I was pretty much itching to know what he had said. But Tori doesn't need to know that.

I spun on my heels and started to stomp away but Tori's next statement stopped me in my tracks. "He said he wanted to talk to you about how he missed you." Say huh? "And that he... Well I guess he just wants another chance."

So I wasn't talking to him for the sole purpose of trying to move on like he apparently had, when all this time he was trying to get me back? But no, it wasn't apparent that he'd moved on, not even a little bit. Nothing became of him and Alyssa, or him and Tori, or him and anyone else, he spent all of his time trying to talk to me. None of them mattered to him, at least not the way I do. He still loves me. Beck still loves me!

My heart flipped in glorious circles as I turned around to meet Tori's gaze. "That's not funny, Vega. Don't fuck with me."

"I'm not, Jade. I swear, he just told me. He said you weren't talking to him and he was getting desperate." There was a hint of sadness distorting her voice as she spoke the words I had been longing to hear for almost a month now.

Why is she sad? This is _good_ news. Why was she so uncomfortable with him asking her to do this? I know I've never been the nicest person she's ever spoken to but any other time her attempts to converse with me have been full of smiles. Why the sadness now? Wait... Why do I care? Go talk to Beck!

"I guess I'll... find him then." I said, turning again. I pulled my phone out with one hand and gave Tori an awkward wave with the other. "Later."

She nodded silently, almost solemnly, and walked away in the opposite direction.

My hand was shaking as I typed the message to Beck.

_'janitors closet now or never'_

I shoved my phone back into my pocket and walked quickly to my destination, not bothering to read his reply, which was recieved only seconds after I sent my message. I was there first, and no sooner had I closed to door did it open again. Beck pushed through and closed the door behind him, fixing me with an almost pleading stare. "Jade."

Instead of speaking, I just nodded, focusing more on keeping calm. If I say anything the words would spew forth without my consent and I'd make myself look desperate and pathetic. His gaze faltered and he glanced away, taking my silence as a bad sign, so I shot him another nod.

"Jade, I miss you. I miss us." He said, running his hands through his hair. "Give me another chance. I don't wanna lose everything we had over something so stupid."

The words weighed heavily on my heart. "So no more Alyssa?" I asked skeptically. I won't allow myself to be swayed so easily.

"She's just a friend. I think I've more than proven that." He said.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah. So _more_ Alyssa."

"Damnit Jade!" He said loudly, but he caught himself before his anger got the best of him. "I don't expect you to close out all of your guy friends, why do you expect that from me?"

"I don't." I shot back, crossing my arms in defiance. "I just expect it about _her._ She's so... just fucking perfect. And loaded. I don't give you shit about being friends with Tori." His mouth opened as if to interrupt me but I put my hand up. "Okay I do, but I drop it. And I've never given you shit about being friends with Cat. This one time, this one person, I'm not comfortable with. That's all I need."

"I don't understand why you can't just trust me!"

"It's not you that I can't trust! UGH! Fuck this!" I screamed. "I didn't come in here to fight with you, but that's all we seem to do anymore. We're obviously _not_ right for eachother."

My arm shot out, passed him, toward the handle to the door but his hands met either side of my face. Before I knew it his lips were on mine in a desperate attempt to get me to succomb.

My heart shattered in my chest, and I almost lost my resolve, I almost gave in. His lips are so familiar and welcoming. They're everything that I remember, it felt like home in his arms. But I shoved him away, tears cascading down my cheeks. "Don't. It's hard enough, Beck. I see you every day. Every single day and I die. We're not okay, we never will be." I had to cross my arms tightly around my chest to hold myself together. "For weeks I've been praying to every god that's ever been mentioned to hear those words, the things you just said to me. We can't lie to ourselves anymore or I'll break. We can't fix what isn't meant to be fixed."

With that I left the janitor's closet, and my whole world behind. With each step that took me further away from Beck, my resolve, my _belief_ in the things I said to him faltered. I slipped into the nearest bathroom and closed myself in the biggest cubical available - the handicap stall - and collapsed on top of the lidded toilet seat. The sobs rolled from my body without my say and my heart felt as if it had been withered to nothing.

Why did I say that shit? What the fuck is wrong with me!? This whole month I've been plagued with thoughts and desperations of that very moment. But it was the first time we've talked since I ended it and we just fought again. As usual. I'm not okay with that, not anymore. It hurts and it'll just hurt more and more until I grow numb. I love him, there's no doubt about that. But we're not meant to be... Right?

Fuck, what if we are? What if he's my one and only and I just ruined my only chance at ever being happy again? I don't think I could handle being alone again. Not like I was before Beck, there's now way I could survive that again. What if Beck is the only person-

"Jade?" I didn't even hear the bathroom door open, and Tori's voice startled my sobs into silence. "Jade is that you?" She called into the air.

I clenched my eyes shut, willing her to go away, but that's not Tori. That's not how Tori is. "Hey." Her voice was softer and when I opened my eyes I saw that her head was peeking under the stall, her gaze piercing mine.

"What if I had been naked?" I asked hoarsley. The statement wasn't particularly funny but I laughed anyway. I laughed so hard that it hurt, my chest tightened and my stomach churned. But I couldn't stop, I was in a state of hysteria. Soon enough the laughter faded into more sobs, more heinous tears gushing from my eyes.

The moment I felt her hand on my shoulder I threw myself into her, clinging to her harder than the night at her house - harder than I've ever clung to anyone before. She leaned against the wall and slid us into a sitting position and I curled into her, my convulsive wails echoing through the empty restroom.

Her breath was hot on my neck as she rocked me, not saying a word. No hollow words of comfort, or pointless assurances of everything being okay. Tori just held me firmly as a few of her own tears stained her cheeks. And it worked, her embrace caught the pieces of me as I fell apart in her arms. At this moment - right here and now - I know it will be her that will help me put them back together again, if I allow it.

I've got no other choice. I forced myself to stop crying so I could speak clearly. "Tori." I meant to say it louder, but could manage only a whisper.

"Yeah?" She asked, not whispering but her voice was gentle, so full of tenderness and sympathy.

"I can't... I j-just don't wanna be alone." I choked out.

She hugged me a little tighter for a moment. "You can come home with me. You don't have to be alone."

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

That night - laying in Tori's bed - her scent surrounded me heavier than ever before. But it was different. I could hear her deep breaths as she slept peacefully next to me, every now and again letting out a contented sigh. Her scent didn't wind a coil of frustration up in my stomach, or stir unsavory images in my head. Right now it's comforting. Right now it's alleviating the pain that's crushing into my heart and soul.

Tori stirred somewhat, her head lolling to the side, facing me. Her lips parted slightly as she murmured, "... can help you, Jade. I wanna help..."

A small sound caught in my throat, her words striking a chord within me. _'Okay.' _I thought to myself, but Tori smiled in her slumber as if she heard me.

**Okay so this turned out completely different than I originally intended, but I like it. I really do. Remember, 4 different people need to give me suggestions, I won't be updating until then. Any words at all, but only serious suggestions will count.**


	9. Valentine

**I love my reviewers so much! I'm not always the most confident in my writing, although I try to do my best. You guys just keep me hanging on, make me feel good. Much love for that! Thank you all so much!**

**The quota has been met! Huzzah! But this time I'll need new words from at least 5 people for my next update, and words from people who suggested some for **_**this**_** chapter DO count towards that! As long as they're new words for a new chapter, it counts! :D PM THEM TO ME! This chapter's word comes from Ha-Yeah-I-Wish, so thank you!**

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious, no monetary gain, etc.**_

**These Words**

_-Valentine-_

This morning was pretty intense for me. It was like any other morning to begin with, but when my eyes fluttered open and I stretched my body out, I rolled over to see Jade's sleeping face inches away from mine. I nearly screamed out loud before I remembered yesterday's events. Okay so that's not really _that_ intense, but I had _just_ woken up. It gave me quite a fright.

Glancing at my clock - still a few hours until school - I rolled out of bed, not worrying about rousing Jade. I mean come on, she slept through gun shots, bombs, and screaming teens during our visit in Yerba. Trying to tiptoe around her seemed pointless.

I gathered the clothes I'd wear today and went to shower. I never spend much more than fifteen minutes in the bathroom. When I got back in my room Jade was sitting up rubbing the sleep from her eyes. "Morning." I said cheerfully, plopping down in my computer chair.

Jade grunted loudly and forced her hand through her hair. "How the hell are you up so early and _still_ annoyingly cheerful?" She sounded like the normal Jade. Maybe she'd be okay?

I chuckled. "Because I don't have to be mean to be happy. You can borrow some of my clothes if you'd like. There's still time for you to head home I think, but if you don't want to..." Of course I wanted her to stay. She's unhappy and I just plain like being around her.

Her head tilted to the side as she pondered this. "You better have something good."

I stood up and went to my closet. "I never wear the clothes in my closet, I don't like them. But I'm sure I have a t-shirt you'll like." I shifted through the clothing momentarily until I found it. Pulling the black cloth from it's hanger, I slipped back out of the closet and threw it at her, walking towards my dresser for a pair of jeans.

The shirt was all black with almost blood red evil looking skulls scattered all over the front. "Where does Tori Vega get a shirt like this?" Jade asked with amusement in her voice.

Shaking my head I threw a pair of plain black skinny jeans at her. "My cousin. I guess he thought I was going through some goth phase. He was wrong."

"Maybe he thought that because you listen to Kittie."

I laughed out loud at this. "I don't listen to Kittie, not really. I like a few songs. Like the one I sang at the festival."

Jade frowned. "I like Kittie."

"I know. You wore a shirt with their name on it a while ago so I checked them out. I sang that song for you, so I could see your face. It was priceless. You looked so shocked!" I giggled at the memory and sent a pair of socks flying in her direction. "Bathroom's right across the hall."

She made her way to the door and opened it. Before she walked out she turned to me and said, "Thanks for not making me go home alone." And she was gone, in the bathroom, before I could say anything in reply.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

Jade drove us both to school and we arrived way earlier than I usually do. She didn't tell me why we had to go so early, although I asked more than once in my complain-y voice. We both had Sikowitz this morning so we went to our lockers seperately and met in the classroom. Sikowitz was absent, as usual, he probably won't be here until a few mintues after the first bell rings.

I was in the room first, sitting and playing with my phone, when Jade came in and sat next to me. _Right_ next to me. With the every other chair available, she sat next to me. I looked over to her with shock written all over my face.

"What?" She asked glaringly.

"You're sitting next to me." I said.

She laughed. It wasn't a joyous laugh, or amused. It was dry and forced. "Yeah I am."

It was obvious she was still in pain. Of course she is. I felt stupid for thinking she was alright this morning. She was acting, which is something she's extremely good at doing. I'm going to have to learn the difference.

Giving her a small smile I turned back to my phone, or more specifically the app I have for The Slap. I updated my status to say something along the lines of hating being at school early. Saying anything about Jade would just raise questions that I didn't feel like dealing with right now. Absentmindedly, I clicked to Jade's profile and noticed she hadn't been online since the day before her and Beck broke up. The last thing on her profile were the words, _'Jade West went from being in a relationship to being single.'_

"I didn't change it." Jade's voice interrupted me, causing me to jump. "It changed when Beck changed his." Her arms were folded over her chest tightly. Her expression was blank but her eyes screamed her sadness at me - the sharp shades of green looking almost like whirlpools that were sucking me in, exposing her emotions. That's how I'll be able to read her. Her eyes didn't move, there were no tears, but it was obvious - the anguish and torment.

"I'm sorry Jade. I didn't mea-" I was interrupted.

"Don't worry about it." Her head turned away from me to glare out the window and my heart clenched.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ I screamed at myself. I'm supposed to be helping her, distracting her from the pain. Not giving her reasons to hurt. I clicked the home button and shoved my phone into my pocket, hating it at this moment. I contemplated saying something else, but at this point anything I say would most likely make it worse.

It wasn't long before more kids started to arrive. Some shruggers sitting in the back or off to the side. Cat bounded in before anyone else in our group, practically jumping into my lap to give me a hug. "Hey Tori!" She giggled out.

"Hey Cat, how are you this morning?" I asked, pulling myself from her grip with difficulty.

She stood again and clapped her hands together. "I was scared on the way here. My brother always yells at the trees but today he stopped and accused one of saying something mean." Jade and I exchanged glances as she continued. "He hurt his hand after he punched it, and he bowed to it. After he got back in he said he had to accept defeat like a man." She giggled out loud. "That was one tough tree!"

"Stop talking, Cat." Jade said in an irritated tone.

"Okay." The redhead said cheerfully, sitting down on the other side of me.

Robbie was next to show up, and after a few choice words from Jade to Rex, he spent his time talking to Cat. More shruggers, then Andre and Beck together, the bell rang and in came the rest of the shruggers. The only person missing from class was Sikowitz.

I couldn't help but to check on Jade every few minutes out of the corner of my eye. Especially since Beck was blatantly staring at her with an expression of mourning. I couldn't bring myself to be mad at him though. It was Jade that severed the ties. Yeah, she was having trouble with it, but so was Beck, and I hadn't bothered to ask how he is, not even once. Not even when he begged me to talk to Jade for him. I feel like a terrible person.

I contemplated texting him but that just wouldn't do. Jade would most likely see, and I should ask him in person anyway. It would just have to wait until I get a moment alone. Getting up and walking away from Jade to talk to Beck was just completely out of the question.

Sikowitz made his appearance in the window, but it was closed and locked. He had to pound on it and yell for someone - that someone being me - to let him in. He fell inwards and rolled, landing on his back. "Who locked that window?" He asked animatedly, jumping to his feet and tossing his bag.

"You did yesterday, sir." Andre piped up. "You said you thought there was someone chasing you on your way here so you locked it."

"Oh yeah." He said, glancing out the window suspiciously. He strode over to the window and shut it firmly, locking it again. "Okay!" He shouted out to us, rubbing his hands together. "Valentines Day is in two days."

I hadn't given much thought to the holiday of love, but I glanced over to Jade and her head was down. The last three years she's had a valentine. This would be her first time in a while without one. I had to resist the urge to put my hand on hers to comfort her.

"I was going to do a play, BUT!" He shouted the last word dramatically. "I've found myself a lady, so you guys get to go out and have fun!"

The rest of the class was spent discussing a play he had planned for two weeks after Valentine's Day. The cast would be decided at a later date. There was one drive-by acting stunt where we had to act like frogs trying to capture a fly, Jade didn't participate.

After the bell rang Jade took her time gathering her belongings, and so I did too. Once the room was clear, Sikowitz having been the first to run out of the door, Jade stood up. "Hey Jade." I said carefully. She stopped and turned to me, fixing me with an expectant glare. "I know this will be- I mean..."

"Spit it out, Vega. I have class within the next hour." She spat out in irritation.

I didn't take it to heart, that's just how Jade is. "Well I was thinking maybe we could be each other's valentines?" I knew she'd think I was only suggesting this because of Beck, but I really _do_ want her to be mine - I mean my valentine. Oh same thing.

She gave a curt laugh and just left, not giving me an answer. My heart felt heavy as I walked slowly to my next class.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

The Asphalt Cafe is the only other place I got to see Jade today. I was there before her, and like this morning, she sat right next to me even though every other seat at the table was available. I looked over to her and she emanated exhaustion. "You okay?"

"Fine." She said, spearing a piece of lettuce from her salad with her fork.

I shoulder bumped her, and a small smile appeared on her face. It melted away as quickly as it had come and I was sure I was the only one that had gotten to see it. Robbie, Andre, and Cat showed up together and sat opposite us. Beck didn't show up to lunch that day. The question and hurt in Jade's eyes went unnoticed by anyone that wasn't me.

We shared friendly conversation with eachother as we all ate, everyone but Jade. I was about to say something to include her but my phone started ringing. I pulled it out and my mother's name and photo flashed across the screen.

"Mom, I'm in sch-" I tried to say but she interrupted me.

"Tori, are you with Trina?" My eyes glanced around and found her fauning over a good looking senior.

"Not at the moment, but I could be." I replied.

"Well when you see her tell her what I'm about to tell you, and that I'll be there to pick you both up in a half an hour." I just noticed how thick her voice sounded, as if she'd been crying.

I stood up in a panic. "Mom, what's wrong?" Everyone at the table looked up at me in confusion.

"I-it's your father." She stuttered out, and it was obvious that she was starting to cry again. "He's been shot, he's in the emergency room."

My heart - which had been thudding loudly in my chest - stopped immediately. "What?" I asked as tears formed in my eyes. "Is he okay?"

"I don't know anything yet. He's in surgery. I'll be there in a half an hour." She hung up on me, presumably so she wouldn't break down right then and there. Or to do exactly that, I don't know.

"Tri-" I tried to call out to my sister, but my voice was weak. It was hard to hold back the dam of tears.

Jade stood up next to me and yelled for Trina. Her hands landed on my shoulders. "What's wrong?" She asked.

Trina scurried over with an irritated look but it quickly changed to one of worry. I directed my words towards her. "Mom will be here in a half an hour to pick us up." My voice was shaky, but intelligible. "Dad's been shot." I croaked out.

Jade's eyes grew wide, and Trina's mouth clamped shut to hold in a sob. "We're not waiting." She said with trepidation, pulling her cell out. "We'll drive there in my car." I assumed she was calling our mom to have her call the school as she raced toward the parking lot.

Jade shook me slightly so that I'd look at her again. "You want me to take you?" She asked, her voice is a lot softer and friendlier when she's worried.

"No." I said in a whisper. My mind couldn't comprehend this situation. Father, cop, shot, emergency room. It made sense, but my mind kept telling me it didn't. Who shot him? Where was he hit? Is he okay? Mom said he's in surgery. That word alone sounded dangerous and scary. "Surgey." I said out loud. It left a bad taste on my tongue.

Jade tilted her head in confusion, she had been saying something else but I wasn't listening. "What?"

I didn't answer, I just took off toward the parking lot where Trina was waiting in her car. I hopped into the front seat, and she backed up quickly, shooting me a glare. We were speeding towards the hospital in no time at all.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

"Family of David Vega." A male doctor called out almost four hours later, and we all rushed to him, shouting questions. His hand, and clipboard rose into the air as if to tell us to quiet down, and we did. "I'm Dr. Vance. We had to induce a coma, but he's stable. It's still too soon to tell if he'll survive."

"_Please_ tell us what happened. We weren't even told where he was shot!" My mother almost shouted.

The doctor sighed as if he hated to explain. It angered me but I kept my mouth shut as he began to talk. "He was shot in the head." The three of us gasped simultaneously, and fresh tears gushed from my swollen eyes. "Gunshot wounds to the head are more difficult to predict. Think of the skull as a closed box that cradles the brain. There isn't a lot of room for movement of the brain or swelling in the skull. If a bullet enters the head and wobbles around, the permanent cavity, or bullet track, may be large, but the damage from the temporary cavity, the shock waves sent from the bullet, that forms is even worse. There is no room for the brain to move and the shock waves often cause irreversible damage. For some lucky people, if the bullet velocity is high with little to no wobble, and it passes through non-critical parts of the brain, less damage occurs and survival is possible. This seems to be the case, but like I said, it's still too soon to tell."

Trina slumped into me and sobbed loudly. I hugged her to me and did my best to cry silently. There was no stopping the tears, but I could prevent myself from having a total meltdown. "When can we see him?" My mother asked, placing a shaking hand on my shoulder. Her face held a pained expression and I could tell she was trying her best to hold it together for Trina and I.

"He's being moved from surgery to a room as we speak. We'll be holding him in the Intensive Care Unit until further notice. When everything is settled a nurse will be sent to retrieve you all. I'm sorry I don't have more to tell you, Mrs. Vega." She nodded and Dr. Vance walked away.

It had taken another twenty minutes for a nurse to come and get us, and we all followed her in silence. Getting the air I needed was hard, it felt like the sadness was pushing down on my lungs, and whenever I took a breath, it would force it right back out. This morning my only worry was what to wear to school today. Well, and to make sure I didn't upset my moody friend. Now my father's been shot in the head and he's in a coma.

Suddenly I wanted Jade. She'd be able to hug me without crying. My arms wrapped themselves around my chest in a makeshift hug. I wouldn't have to feel her shaking in my arms as I clung to her. If she'd be willing to hug me. I know she's done it a few times before but there have been reasons. I made it possible for her to put on her play, and for her father to see it _her_ way, she broke up with Beck, she was crying over Beck... I even forced her to hug me when she asked to come to Yerba with us. That was a painful one. My father being in the emergency room seemed like a good enough reason, right?

"Here we are." The nurse said, pulling me from my musings. I instantly felt horrible for thinking about that when we were on the way to see my injured father. But it was distracting me from crying.

I was the last one to step over the threshold into his room and I almost collapsed. There were breathing tubes in his mouth, and a large white bandage over a shaved portion of his head, a few inches above his ear. As I walked closer I noticed the entire right side of his head was shaved and there was another bandage towards to back, I assumed it was the exit wound.

His chest was rising and falling in a slow and peaceful rhythm, but it was ruined by whatever machine was allowing the oxygen to flow as it pumped into him noisily. My mother and Trina took the only two chairs so I leaned against the wall and stared at him. I wanted nothing more than to collapse onto him and wail my frustrations so the whole hospital could hear, but I didn't. I cried silently as Mom and Trina spoke to him, Trina holding his hand, Mom stroking his arm.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

It's been two days and the doctor's still can't tell if he's going to survive. He's surviving though, right? Still producing those loud beeps from the heart monitor that I've counted in my head as a distraction more times than once. They _should_ be able to tell by now! Not knowing is the worst.

Trina and I haven't been going to school, much to my mother's protest. But she didn't have the energy to fight us so we always won the argument. The only time we even left the hospital was to go home and shower, but we'd head right back immediately after. My phone died yesterday and I didn't bother grabbing my charger. I didn't want to talk to anyone, except maybe Jade, but she's got her own things going on. She didn't need me and my problems bugging her too.

Today I'm sitting in a chair next to him with my feet resting up on the bed near his waist. My hands were fiddling with my shirt as I sifted through my erratic thoughts. My mom and Trina were at home showering so I was alone. The urge to talk to him, out loud, was there, but every time I'd start I'd feel stupid. He's not conscious, so he can't hear me. But if he could then he should know that I'm here. Mom and Trina have told him I am, but I'm the only one that hasn't said anything to him. I guess once couldn't hurt.

I took a deep breath that quickly turned into a sigh. "I-" I started. Tears formed and a frog made a home in my throat, but I had to say _something_. "I'm here, Daddy."

A knock came at the door just then and I jumped, my feet landing with a loud plop on the floor. Looking up, Jade was standing in the doorway. "Jade?" I asked in a bewildered voice.

She nodded and walked in, one hand behind her back. "Just me, Vega." She walked up right in front of me and pulled her arm around to show me the two black roses she held. One had a card on it. She took the one that didn't and placed it on the stand next to my father's bed. "That's for him." The other she extended out to me. "This one's for you, Valentine."

I took it from her, holding back my tears. I flipped the card over to read what it said. _'Happy Valentines Day. Sorry for being such a gank when you asked me.'_ My hands shook as I brought the painted flower to my nose. It smelled like - well paint, but the flower's scent wasn't completely buried.

"Thank you." I whispered, closing my eyes tight.

"Any time, Vega." Her words were enough to break my will, and the tears cascaded down my face. I stood up and threw myself into her arms, and she hugged me without hesitation. Just as I imagined, there was no trembling - from her anyway - or sobbing. No tears. Just warmth, her steady arms giving me her warmth, tight but gentle, and it helped. Even though the tears didn't stop, it helped.

**Argh. This was hard to write only because I was watching **_**Mystery Science Theater 3000 **_**at the same time. It's so damn funny! Lmao. I'm not going to lie, this idea was brought on by TWO words and I'd feel terrible if I didn't give Newsies the credit for 'Emergency'. But hey, I like that it's not just Jade needing Tori, Tori needs her too. Maybe I'll put angst as the other genre. Lol.**

**Mmkay. 5 different people need to suggest and then you'll get a chapter 9! :D Love you guys. PLEASE PM THEM TO ME GUYS!**


	10. Comfort

**I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that you **_**do**_** have the option to skip right over my A/N's, and I advise you do just that, should you find my word begging obnoxious. This story thrives on word suggestions from my readers, and asking for them is something I intend to continue doing for that specific reason. If it truly bugs anyone that much perhaps they could start suggesting some words themselves and solve my lack-of-words problem instead of finding irritation within the solution I've come up with. (:**

**Furthermore, SUCCESS! Five different people suggested and I present you with the awesomeness that is chapter nine! And now six different people after this, if you please, and PM themz, my pretties! PM! PM! PM! Don't put them in your reviews! :P Thank you to melymely for this epic word. (:**

_**Disclaimer: Quit making me say I don't own Victorious, it sucks more and more every time.**_

**These Words**

_-Comfort-_

Well Tori and I are fighting. As usual I've managed to get under her skin. The fact that I've always been able to do this used to be satisfying to me, but this time I didn't mean it and I honestly feel terrible. I didn't mean to upset her, especially here, in a hospital room, with her father lying injured in the bed.

"Why would you say that? _'Reality is a bitch.'_ What does that even mean?" The rage in her tone was thick and it was almost enough to scare me. Almost.

"I don't know..." I sighed out. Not true. The fact that she's always been so happy, always willing to help anyone that needed it, it's foreign to me, and so Tori has always been a sort of enigma. In my head I imagined it was because _her_ head was always filled to the brim with silly little fantasies where everyone is perfect, and nothing bad could ever happen.

"No, I think you _do_ know. What, you think I live in some kind of dream world or something?" She asked, standing directly in front of the chair I occupied, her arms crossed and face twisted in anger.

She was right, of course. But what do I say to that? I suppose I've known from day one that she's never been one to beat around the bush when it came to the truth. A little too optimistic maybe, but never impractically so. Now that I really think about it, I guess the reality of the situation is that I was the one living in a fantasy. Living in a place where I could pass off Tori's genuinely good nature as a farce, making it much easier to dislike her than it would've been otherwise. Seeing her broken and worried shattered that instantly, and it gave me a great shock.

"I do know." I said nodding. "But I also know that there's a time and place for every conversation, and here is not the place for this one."

"Why not? You said it, now I want to talk about it." She demanded.

Her stubborn nature was definitely part of it. She's never given up on anything, and I don't forsee her dropping this either. "Fine, talk." I relented.

"Do you honestly think that I fooled myself into thinking that nothing like this could ever happen? That my father is immune to all of the dangers of his job? Because if that's the case, you can just leave." Her words were biting, but I rolled my eyes dramatically and turned away from her. I'm sure my face has a perfectly unphased look on it, but my eyes usually give me away. Beck's told me as much. "Ever since I was old enough to really know how dangerous his job really is, I've been terrified. And not a day go- went by, that I wasn't scared beyond belief that I'd get the very same call I got two days ago."

This is the very reason I avoid situations like this. I don't do comfort, I don't do friendship. It always gets fucked up somehow. Why did I come here in the first place? Oh yeah, everything in my room was reminding me of Beck. Well, fuck that. I never admit that I'm wrong. "Listen. I don't want to talk about this anymore. But I will say that some shit's just been put into perspective for me now, that's all."

She sighed in defeat and plopped back into her chair near her father's bed. She slouched as if the weight of the world were pressing down on her. "Why did you even come here today?"

My temper flared up within me. Almost to the point of covering the extremely annoying hurt that her words gave me. "Well," I started. "I guess I just thought that with everything you did for me, maybe I could try to do a little for you. My mistake." I shot at her.

I made to storm out of the room but her body collided with the door, slamming it shut, before I reached it. The action looked almost painful. "That's not what I meant Jade, you know that. My brain's not in a very articulate mood right now."

"So what did you mean?" I asked, my eyes boring into hers with intensity. My irritation was increasing by the second. My arms crossed over my chest and I cocked my head, waiting for her answer.

Her eyes searched my face and she sighed in utter defeat. "I mean it's not like _you_ have ever been known to just help someone, especially me. And here you are, helping ." Her hand reached out and gripped my arm. "It's in your own demented way, but you are, and it's working." She squeezed my arm gently before letting go and pushing herself off of the door. "You can go if you want but I'd prefer it if you stayed." She walked by me and sat down next to her father again, grabbing his hand.

The sight was enough to make me groaned inwardly and stalk back to my chair against the wall, plopping in it dramatically. She's making me feel bad. Tori Vega is making me feel... _sympathy_. "Fine but we're not staying in a stuffy hospital room all day. You want me around, we're going to do something."

She turned her chair so she could see me and fixed me with a smirk. "A stuffy hospital room? You suck at giving comfort."

I just shrugged.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

After her mother and sister came back from eating I all but forced Tori out of the hospital. She'd been crying on and off all day, I have to distract her before I lose all sense of hostility within me. "You hungry?" I asked her as we pulled out of the parking lot.

"Not really." She replied flatly, her gaze directed out the window.

"Okay, what do you wanna do then?"

"You're the one that dragged me out. You choose." She deadpanned.

I clenched my teeth and pushed back the irritation that was welling inside of me. I had to remind myself of why I'm with her in the first place. _'She's upset. Her dad's in the hospital. She helped me a lot with Beck.'_ Each time these thoughts ran through my head my heart would clench painfully at Beck's name. It was enough to replace the irritation with sadness, which was another emotion that could possibly cause me to lash out. Great, now we _both_ needed a distraction.

_'Think, West. Think.'_ I pretty much just went to Tori whenever I needed a distraction or comfort, now she's counting on me for them. God that's frustrating. An idea crept into my head out of nowhere and I smiled wide. "Have you ever been skydiving?" I asked her.

She looked over at me with suspicion in her eyes. "No, and I don't much like the idea of jumping out of a plane."

"Neither do I." I stated. "I have a good idea, though. A good distraction. For both of us."

Her eyes softened at this. "I'm sorry I've been so selfish. I know you're still hurting, I don't mean to put my problems on you too."

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard you say, Vega. First of all comparing our situations would be like comparing a toothpick to an oak tree. I lost a boyfriend, you..." I paused as I tried to find the right words, but decided to just leave it at that. "Second, I showed up yesterday of my own will, you didn't ask. And third, just shut up and trust me. We're going to have some much needed fun."

She gave me a broad smile and my stomach filled with... butterflies? Nahh. Fuck butterflies, Jade West gets bats. And however confusing those bats are, they're there. My grip tightened on the steering wheel as I averted my gaze back to the road, it was easier to hold back the grin that threatened to break out on my face.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

It only took ten minutes to reach our destination, and for that I was thankful. Small talk is very high up on the lengthy list of things I hate. I didn't want her to know what was up right away so I ended up stopping at a small coffee shop first. "I don't know about you, but I can't imagine that you got any more sleep than I did last night."

She nodded and stepped out of the car. "Yeah coffee sounds awesome." She said gratefully. "I don't have my wallet though."

"I got it." I said, stepping through the door behind her. She turned to say something but I didn't let her. "Don't argue, or thank me, or anything. It's just coffee." She smiled and nodded again as I walked up to the small counter. "Two medium coffees."

The woman behind the counter had the world's worst spray-on tan, it looked as if she were related to an orange, and her make-up was caked on so thick you could easily mistake her for a clown. Honestly, she was a walking, talking cliche - I hate her already. There was a nail file in her hand going to town on the painted nails of the other, and she didn't even look up as she spoke. "You want flavor shots?" She asked in a bored tone.

I looked at Tori and she shook her head. "Nope. Just coffee."

She sighed dramatically and started pushing buttons on the computerized cash register, her nails clicking loudly. "That'll be five dollars and thirty five cents." She stated, holding out an expectant hand.

I handed her a five and a one dollar bill, resisting the urge to drop them on the floor behind the counter. Her attitude was revolting and I felt like she really needed a punch to her lipstick-slathered mouth. But today is not the day for such relief, today is to keep Tori from dehydrating through her eye sockets.

The annoying woman poured our coffees and handed them to us unlidded. A stubby finger pointed to the far wall. "Lids and stuff are over there." And her attention returned to filing her nails.

I bit back an insult as we made our way to the counter. I put two sugars in mine, popping a lid on, and watched as Tori poured three sugar packets and two french vanilla creamers into hers. My pierced brow raised in amusement. "Do you even like the taste of coffee?"

She shook her head and smiled. "Not really, but you were right. Sleeping in a hospital chair doesn't allow much in the way of comfort. Combine that with blind worry and you get hours awake, and mere minutes of nightmare-filled slumber."

I nodded in understanding. "Well let's head to our distraction then. We'll leave the car here and walk, it's just up the street." I said, leading her out of the shop and holding the door open for her.

We walked slowly, both completely satisfied with sipping the warm coffee in silence. I savored the bitterly delicious flavor. The small shop had a shitty choice in staff but the coffee was superb. "So good." I mumbled between small sips.

Tori chuckled at my wards and sipped her coffee again too. "It's alright." She put her free hand into her pocket and looked around. "Where are we headed anyway?" I pointed ahead and across the street. "CityWalk? I think I've been there once. My parents took Trina and I bowling there. We spent more time in the arcade though." She giggled at the memory. "My dad complained the whole time, he loves bowling." The sadness that weighed on her voice was contagious and I almost stopped to hug her in the middle of crossing the street.

"Yeah, we're not here to go bowling. Unless you want to after." I stated. She looked at me confused and I just smirked at her. "You'll see what's up. Patience, Vega."

We walked into the enormous building and I lead her through the winding halls. This was bound to take Tori's mind off of her father, at least for a little while. We walked through a doorway into a wide open courtyard and our destination was in sight. I pointed it out to her and her eyes grew wide.

"Seriously?" The excitement was evident in her voice and I had to swallow a laugh. "No way! I've always wanted to try that!"

She all but skipped her way up to the counter beneath a huge sign that read, _'iFly'_ in large white letters. I had to quicken my pace to catch up. When I stepped up next to her she was talking animatedly with the man behind the counter. "... and it's totally safe as long as you follow all of the rules and wear all of the proper gear. Which is pretty much just a helmet and some ugly goggles. It's a seriously awesome experience. I go at least once on every break I get." He chuckled, his long read hair was frizzy and gross looking but he seemed nice enough. At least his face wasn't completely overrun with freckles like most redheads. I hate freckles.

"Yeah, we're both going." I pulled out my debit card and handed it to him, leaning as far as I could over the counter, just out of Tori's hearing range. "I know the cost, she won't go if she does." It was true. I'm sure if Tori knew I was dropping over one hundred dollars on this distraction alone, she'd refuse. Or at least refuse to do anything after, and the girl needs to eat.

After a sly glance in response to Tori's questioning gaze Red led us back behind the counter to get prepared. The rules were explained, the goggles secured, we were ready in about fifteen minutes. We laughed at each other once we were fully dressed properly. She was wearing a bright red jump-suit with blue stripes going up the sides, an all-black helmet that read _'iFly'_ in bold white letters on the front, and bulky plastic goggles over her eyes. I was dressed indentically except that my jump-suit was dark blue with red lines on the sides.

We walked to the gigantic enclosed wind tunnel, Tori practically bouncing with anticipation next to me. "This is gonna be so awesome!" She gushed.

I nodded, keeping my composure, but I was excited too. "Yeah, it's pretty intense."

"How many times have you done this?" She asked.

"Just once." I replied, thinking back to that time. "One of my exes and I went together. She was a nervous wreck. It didn't phase me, of course." I gave her a smug smirk and she returned it with a look of confusion.

"She?" Tori said, her eyes conveying some emotion unknown to me.

I nodded. "Everyone assumes Beck was the only person I've ever been with. Mostly just because he's my longest relationship. I didn't meet him until I came to Hollywood Arts. I've dated more girls than guys, honestly."

Tori nodded, dropping the subject. We made it to the wind tunnel and it was already fired up, the redheaded weirdo awaiting our arrival. "Hey. Our instructor is just getting off break, she'll be here in a few minutes."

Tori giggled in excitement. "This is gonna be so awesome!" Her eyes widened and she slapped her palm against her forehead. "I wish I had brought my phone from the back, we need pictures!"

I dangled my phone in front of her face and she smiled as she took it, bringing up the camera mode and handing it to Red. "Can you take one of us?"

He accepted it. "Sure thing!" Tori's arm went around me to grip my waist and gave the camera a thumbs-up with a cheesy grin. I crossed my arms over my chest in mock irritation, but a scowl was out of the question. The excitement that was radiating from her was contagious, so I settled on an amused smirk. He snapped three different ones at Tori's request. That one, one with Tori pointing excitedly at the wind tunnel, and one with our backs to eachother, arms crossed, and my expression the same as the first, hers amusedly determined.

"Jade!?" I high feminine voice called out behind us as Tori sent the pictures to herself. I whirled around to see a tall slender blonde girl striding towards us in a black jump-suit of her own. "Oh my god, it _is _you!"

It took me a few moments but recognition set in and I almost turned and ran right then. "Hey Lily." I mumbled.

Lily reached us and instantly pulled me in for a bonecrushing hug. "It's been years! How have you been?"

"I've been better, I've been worse." I replied noncommittally.

Lily's eyes flashed to Tori momentarily - who was eyeing her with suspicion while talking with Red - and she gave me another smile. "Is this the first time you've come here since we came?"

Realization showed on Tori's eyes and a frown distorted her features. "Yeah. How long have you worked here?"

"Well I started after I got my working papers. I'd have to say about three years. Maybe a little less. As soon as I turned eighteen they made me an instructor and it's so fun. I was hoping to run into you at least once throughout my employment, you seemed to enjoy it a lot more than I did." She giggled and twirled a lock of hair between her fingers.

Uh oh. Flirting. She's flirting with me. I _so_ don't need this today. "Yeah, I guess I ju-"

She cut me off mid-sentence and I almost growled at her. "So is this your new gi-" I hate that, it's why I broke up with her in the first place. The girl doesn't know how to shut up, so I interrupted her in return.

"This is my friend Tori." Her eyes lit up at hearing this.

"Tori." She gave the brunette a sweet smile and extended her hand to her. "It's nice to meet you, my name is Lily."

She shook Lily's hand almost stiffly and nodded in acknowledgement. If I hadn't spent so much time studying her, I wouldn't have noticed the slightly narrowed eyes and falseness in her smile. That's a weird reaction, especially from Tori. I nudged her and gave her a small smirk, and she relaxed.

"Well let's get started!" Lily exclaimed. And that we did.

All three of us stepped up to the clear plexi-glass door, Tori and I waited while Red opened it and Lily climbed in. I leaned over and whispered in Tori's ear, "You want me to hop in first?" Tori nodded and gave me a nervous look, so I grabbed her hand and squeezed it lightly before dropping it and looking to Lily for the permission I needed. Her eyes narrowed at us both but she composed herself and shrugged nonchalantly.

After she did a few test flips in the air, she straightened her body out and landed firmly near the entrance. She beckoned me forward and I stepped into the roaring winds of the monstrous fan. My heart rate jumped instantly with adrenaline as Lily's arms encircled my waist and coaxed me to lean forward which instantly caused me to drop down before the wind caught my weight and suspended me into the air. Lily pushed me aside but kept a hand gripped on my jump-suit. She beckoned to Tori who took tentative steps into the wind tunnel, and - dare I say - it was adorable.

Tori walked slowly towards the center, her nerves getting the best of her. Lily turned to me and motioned that she was going to release me, to which I nodded. She did and her arms made their way around Tori's waist. As I watched, I could feel jealousy bubble up in my stomach. Not cool... No, it's just her job. Wait, do I really care? Yeah, I think I do. Fuck.

Tori's breathing was a little erratic before she remembered we'd been instructed to breath slowly and even through out noses. She calmed instantly and a smile broke out onto her face as the wind caught her body, raising her just about level with me. I'm sure if she could, she'd yell out in exhiliration. Lily gripped our jump-suits at the shoulders and flattened her body too, causing us all to rise up the complete length of the translucent tube.

She adjusted her body so we'd fall back down and she gave me a look that I didn't understand, mostly because the generated wind was contorting her features. Releasing my shoulder she motioned to me that she intended to take us up and flip us around a little. She'd have to do one at a time for that. I nodded and gestured to me, and then gestured for Tori to watch.

Lily pulled at just the right angle, flipping Tori to float on her back, and her hand released Tori's shoulder. The blonde's hands met mine and intertwined at the fingers. Well that's not how it's supposed to be done... I quickly untangled my fingers from hers and gave her a glare. She smiled silently, flattening herself and lifting us into the air. She adjusted my body in many ways, causing me to twist and turn. The feeling was amazing, it was like I weighed absolutely nothing.

Lily took us back down and turned to Tori whose eyes were wide - with fear or excitement, I have no clue - flipping her onto her stomach again. I took it upon myself to flip over so I could watch them and Lily smiled at me as she took Tori up.

Lily stayed in the tunnel with us the entire time, although she was supposed to have left us alone when she was sure we were comfortable since I'd done it before. Each flight was usually only a minute long but Lily didn't seem too upset about going over the limit. In fact, we were in the tunnel for a good five minutes, which is almost twice as long as the average real sky-diving experience.

When we were safely outside of the wind tunnel and it was powering down, Tori jumped into my arms. "Oh my god, Jade! That was so freakin' awesome, thank you so much!"

My arms wrapped around her and her pleasant scent filled my nose. "Any time, Vega."

Lily's throat cleared and Tori pulled away from me, blushing. "Hey, thanks for the extra time. It was great." I said.

The blonde gave me a seductive smile and winked. "Anything for you, hun." And with that she was walking back towards the counter.

We followed behind her and Tori leaned in to whisper, "I don't think I like Lily."

"Why not?" I asked with a smirk. "You like everyone else. I treat you like complete crap and you still like being around me. Lily's likeable."

A blush crept onto her face again as she shook her head. "I don't know."

I bumped into her lightly. "I think you _do_ know."

She giggled. "Okay, I do."

I just smiled at her and continued walking. Her words forced my mind into a frenzy. _'Does Tori Vega like me? Like, _like me,_ like me? Really Jade... What am I, twelve? She couldn't have the hots for me, I treat her like shit. Could she? Many women _do_ respond to that more than nice people. But not Tori, no way. Since when does she even like girls? God, shut the fuck up, I'm annoying myself.'_

My inner monologue was interrupted by Tori's hand on my shoulder. "Hey!"

"What!?" I yelled back as my eyes focused on her. "Oh, sorry. What did you say?"

She chuckled as she took my jump-suit from my hands and folded it. "I said I should probably get back to the hospital now."

"No way, Vega. You're going to eat something. _We're_ going to the Hardrock Cafe here." I stated, snatching the helmets with the goggles inside. We began walking back to the front counter to turn the gear in.

Tori thought for a moment and then smiled at me. "I could eat."

We handed the gear over to Lily and started to walk away but we were stopped before we made it too far. "Hey Jade, hold up!" The blonde called.

I gritted my teeth in frustration, but turned back to her nonetheless. "Yeah?"

She jogged up to meet us and handed me a piece of paper. I looked at it and it had her name and number. "That's my cell number. Give me a call some time, you know, if you wanna go out or something." Her hand made its way to fiddle with a lock of my hair, and I stepped back, glaring at her.

Tori - who had been watching for my reaction - stepped up and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together. "It's very rude to give your number to someone while they're on a _date_ with someone else." She said, her voice dripping with discontent.

Lily scoffed. "She said you guys are _friends._"

Tori's eyes narrowed at the blonde. If this was Tori acting, then she played the part of a jealous date extremely well. "We _are_ friends, friends on a date. You don't start out in a relationship." She spoke calmly, a fake small plastered on her lips. I was trying my best not to laugh.

"If it's not an official relationship, I have nothing to feel bad about. Besides, I don't really think you're Jade's type." Lily challenged. Her eyes scanned Tori up and down mockingly, her expression one of distaste. My free hand closed into a tight fist as anger bubbled up inside of me.

Tori's jaw clamped shut with a small click and she spoke through clenched teeth. "Whatever Jade's type _used_ to be has obviously changed. I don't see her ever being attracted to ditsy blonde bimbos anymore."

"Listen to me you little twit." Lily stepped forward shoving her finger in Tori's face. "You can't fool me any more than you can fool yourself." I pulled on Tori's hand to get her away from the threatening being before her but Tori wasn't having it.

Tori leaned closer to her and said in a cheery voice, "Honey, I bet I could tell you your mouth was your asshole and you'd believe it, considering all the shit that pours out."

I lost it at that. My hand left Tori's and I grabbed my stomach, laughter bellowing from me. Before I was able to compose myself, Lily's hand pulled back. "No, no. You won't hit me." Tori said with confidence. I stood up straight as my rage over-rode all traces of amusement. "You see. If you hit me, not only will you undoubtedly lose your job, but there's a million different cameras all around us. I could have the proof to press criminal charges from _at least_ six different angles."

Lily's hand lowered but her face remained twisted with rage. "I bet you're not even gay."

Tori put a hand on her hip and stared at the blonde for a moment before turning to me with a wicked grin on her lips. Before I could even register what was flowing through her brain her lips were on mine. My body stiffened in shock but recovered quickly as her arms snaked around her neck, and mine wrapped around her waist.

Tori must've known that a small kiss wouldn't be enough because her tongue slid over my bottom lip, asking to deepen the moment. My heart raced beyond my control as my lips parted and I slid my tongue into her mouth. I could've sworn she moaned a little as our tongues made contact, and I _know _I had to fight one back at how she tasted. So sweet, like flavored coffee and completely overwhelming.

Somehow I had lost myself in the embrace as we kissed eachother slowly, bringing forth all previous frustrations I'd had over her, ten-fold. The familiar coil in my gut made itself known and I pulled Tori even closer to me, feeling her heart rate flying as fast as mine. She kissed me with more passion than any _fake_ kiss could ever have. It was then that I was able to confirm the mental musings that plagued me earlier. What really jarred me was that there seemed to be a little more than just sexual frustration coming from my end.

Tori pulled back and there was a sad but longing look in her eyes as her gaze locked with mine. We were both breathing rapidly. Our bodies remained pressed together as I tried to read her emotions in her eyes. The deep chocolate colors that used to shine there darkened to a staggeringly sharp almost-black shade. Seductively sad, I guess.

"Woah." I said breathlessly, and she smiled an earthshattering smile. It was radiant, I just had to smile back at her.

I glanced out of the corner of my eye and noticed Lily's angry gaze shooting daggers at Tori. "Hey Lily?" I said, and her eyes met mine, filling with hope, as Tori stepped away from me. I grabbed her hand again before she could get too far and Tori looked at me failing to conceal the hurt look on her face. "I may have started this date out single, but I can't imagine how I'd continue with it after that." I smirked, winking at Tori.

Lily looked at me as if I'd just punched her in the stomach and took the paper that I was holding out to her. "Whatever. We could've had something even better than last time."

My eyes traced up her body just as hers had over Tori's, same expression and everything. "I don't want it." I said with a glare. The blonde stomped away from us and Tori laughed animatedly, I couldn't help but join her. We laughed until we were sure Lily was far away, only then did we begin to settle. Our eyes locked again and blush flooded her cheeks. Our hands broke apart as we started walking toward the restaurant in awkward silence.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

After we ate we walked around visiting various shops and I ended up buying myself a new pair of black combat-style boots that reached all the way up to the middle of my thigh, heavy buckle straps placed along the length of them. Tori insisted that she didn't want anything. She probably felt bad about all the money I had already spent on her. Whatever.

I decided not to stay at the hospital with her, not wanting to deal with Trina's annoying presence. I told Tori as much and she just laughed claiming that she couldn't blame me. I pulled right up to the hospital entrance and Tori hopped out. Before I was able to shift gears and pull away she turned back to my car and spoke to me through the window she'd left open. "Y'know, this morning aside, you're not too terrible at the whole comfort thing." She said smiling, my ice-cold heart warmed just a little bit at her words. How incredibly Grinchy of me. "Thanks for today, Jade. I mean it. I really needed this." With that, she turned and I watched her disappear behind the automatic sliding doors. Okay, I watched her ass. Sue me.

**Interestingly enough most of the word suggestions I recieved for this chapter were along the same lines as this one. So it was relatively easy to see what my readers wanted. Lol. **

**It's going to be a bumpy road from here on out guys. The five people that met the quota this time are really the only people that have been suggesting. I think six and up are going to be rough, so if you have any old random words - seriously, any at all - swimming around your brain, PM them to me. I have a feeling it'll take a while to post in a timely fashion if you don't. **


	11. Unavoidable

**Can I just say that I'm always smiling from the moment I post a new chapter right up until I begin the next one. Your guys' support makes me absolutely giddy!**

**We got up to six way sooner than I anticipated, and it's so awesome! You guys really pulled through on this one. How amazing is that!? Incredibly, that's how. Gimme seven different people PMing me words and you get chapter eleven. (: Thanks to Ginerva Black for this one!**

_**Disclaimer: Don't own, not getting money. Give me the rights to Victorious, damnit!**_

**These Words**

_-Unavoidable-_

For the better part of a week I've been trapped in my head, tangled up in a relentless web of confusion. The doctors said that in a few days they're going to attempt to pull my father out of the pseudo-coma they induced. He's still not fully healed but they say it's enough to rouse him. Dr. Vance told us that his brain looks untouched but waking him up could quite possibly cause something in it to move or tremor, consequently shutting it down entirely. It's disconcerting to say the least, and my perspective has been caught between blind optimism and dismally pessimistic, ultimately resulting in a hollow numb feeling.

Then there's the kiss Jade and I shared... I keep having to force myself not to dwell on the fact that I put a little more emotion into it than I orginally intended. It's not like it was on purpose, I lost control and I can't seem to bring myself to regret that. But Jade's response was much more than I expected. I was surprised she didn't shove me away and punch me in the face.

Despite the solemnity of my life at this point, my mind keeps drifting away, back to that moment and I get stuck. I try my best to stay focused but I get lost in the feeling of her lips on mine, the way her arms felt around my waist and how the intoxicating scents of pomegranates and coffee clouded my every thought. The unique blend of scents suited the raven-haired beauty more than I could have ever imagined, and it's quickly becoming my favorite fragrance. The moment she pulled me closer to her I was sure I was going to lose myself entirely, I ended up having to stop the kiss if I were to maintain any shred of my formerly invulnerable self control. The emotion that it stirred within me was overwhelming, and each time the memory clogs up my every thought, it returns at full force. So naturally with everything that's going on, I'm avoiding Jade. I know it's stupid. But I have too much to deal with to add confusing feelings to the mix. I miss her though...

See? Lost myself again. I glanced over at Trina who had her face buried in a fashion magazine, then at Mom, who was staring at my father deep in thought. The hospital was nice enough to provide a chair that folded out into a cot. This is where my mother spent the majority of her time now. Trina and I had started going home at the end of visiting hours and coming back when they started, school wasn't even a thought in the back of our minds.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and read a few text messages I'd recieved. One from Cat saying she misses me, one from Andre saying the same thing. Two from Jade, if you could believe that. One asking how I am and the other asking why I'm ignoring her. I'll have to ignore them. I sighed as I pressed the home button and locked the screen. Avoiding Jade sucks, but I just can't deal with it right now.

I glanced at my mother again just in time to see her wipe a tear away with her finger. I stood up and walked up to her, holding out my hand. "Hey Mom. C'mon, let's get some coffee."

"Bring me one too?" Trina asked, closing the magazine.

I nodded. "Of course." I looked back to my mother and she sighed in defeat, taking my hand. "It'll be good to get out of this room for a little while."

"You're right, Honey." She said in a shaky voice, kissing my forehead. She glanced at Dad once more before she slipped her shoes on and walked out of the door.

I shot Trina a look, and said hurriedly, "Anything happens, anything _at all_ you call me. Not text, call."

"No shit. I want two creamers and four sugars. Don't take all day." She replied in a bored tone, typing away on her phone.

With that I rushed out of the door and caught up to my mother. She was walking faster than she would have before everything turned into hell on Earth. "Mom, slow down. This isn't a race." I said placing a hand on her shoulder.

Her steps slowed and we fell into a rhythm. "I'm sorry Tori, I really am. I'm just..." Her words trailed off.

"I get it." I said softly.

A hand made its way to her mouth as she took a slow breath, trying to hold back the tears, I'd wager. "No, no. I have to hold it together. You girls need me now more than ever." Her arm made its way around my shoulders and I wrapped one around her back, squeezing her to me tightly. "I just have to be strong. I'm here if you need to talk to anyone, Tori."

"I know, Mom." I said, nodding. "You gotta know that we're here for you too, though. You're not alone. Trina's eighteen, I'm seventeen. We're not little kids, and we can handle ourselves. Don't think for a second that we'd ever put all of this on you. We're a family and we'll deal with it as a family. No one's stronger than the other, no one's weaker." At this point we've stopped walking and my mother has tears streaming down her face as she listens. It takes everything in me to hold back my own fresh tears. "We'll be strong together, we'll be weak together, we'll break down together, and we'll pick up the pieces together. No matter what."

My mother let out a small laugh that sounded more like a sob as she placed her hands on either of my cheeks. "Oh Tori. How'd you get to be so mature?"

I smiled at her and rubbed her shoulders. "You and Dad raised me. You tell me?"

"I love you, Sweetie." She said.

"Love you too, Mom." I took her hand from my cheek and held it, starting to walk again. "Now how about that coffee."

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

When my mother and I returned to my father's room I was surprised to see Jade sitting in the chair I occupied not half an hour ago. "Don't you read your texts?" Trina asked, snatching the cup of coffee from my hands.

"No she doesn't." Jade said, sending me a glare.

Trina rolled her eyes. "Well I _tried_ to text you and tell you that your freaky friend is here, but you obviously didn't see it. I didn't wanna call and get you all worked up."

"Hey." I said to Jade in a weak voice. My mind flooded with excuses. _'Sorry, I've just been busy.' Ha. With what? How about, 'I didn't get any of your texts.' That's stupid. Um. 'I just didn't feel like texting.' What a lie. Everyone knows I love texting. How about the truth? Yeah right, that'll go over well. 'Hey Jade. I've been avoiding you because I want nothing more than to be able to kiss you like I did at CityWalk any time that I feel like it but my father's lying in a hospital bed so I can't really deal with all that right now. Sorry about that.' _

"Christ, Vega! You're gonna ignore me right to my face too?" Jade's angry voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I almost jumped.

"What? No, I'm sorry, I spaced." I said, shaking my head from side to side. "Let's go get some coffee or something."

"You just had coffee." Trina said as her and my mother laughed at me.

"A little more won't do any harm." I mumbled.

My mother's voice became stern. "You're not going to get any sleep tonight, Victoria."

I shrugged and pushed Jade toward the door. "I don't sleep anyway. Let's go."

When the door was shut soundly behind me I sighed and looked over to Jade, whose arms were crossed over her chest. "Something wrong with your texting thumb?" She asked glaringly.

Even with the scowl she presently wore I was incredibly relieved to see Jade's face again. I'd missed her. I could feel my whole body beginning to relax as I stared into her deep green eyes. That's not good. Tears began to form in my eyes and Jade's arms dropped to her sides. "Hey, woah. No, no. Don't do that." She said, pointing a finger at me.

I laughed as I fought them back. "I can't help it." I said, wiping the moisture away. "Let's go get that coffee before I turn into a blubbering little girl."

Her face twisted into a smirk. "Too late for that."

I chuckled and started walking toward the exit. "Shut up. C'mon, I can't handle any more hospital coffee, though. Let's go to that place we went to last week. I didn't mind their coffee so much."

"I'll drive." She said, walking in front of me, twirling her keys around her finger.

It took us all of ten minutes to get to the shop and I pulled my phone out of my pocket to text Trina and remind her to call me. There was one from Jade telling me she was on her way to the hospital and I laughed at it. Trina replied in seconds and I put my phone back in my pocket.

Jade ordered our coffees while I waited at the counter with all of the various creamers and sugars. I could see irritation in her eyes when she finally handed me my beverage. "What's up?" I asked her, stirring three sugars and two creamers into the drink.

"I can't stand that orange skank." She mumbled, putting two sugar packets in hers. "God's gift to men, that one is." She stated sarcastically as we sat at a nearby table.

I giggled. "Yeah, I guess she has some issues. But who knows? Maybe she's really a good person." Jade snorted around a gulp of coffee and I laughed at her. "She could be, you never know!"

"You have way too much faith in humanity."

"Maybe. But I prefer to find out they're not good people rather than assuming they're bad from the start and missing out on anything." I said sipping my coffee. Jade was right last week. The coffee here is amazing. I guess it could just be me getting addicted to the caffeine in it. I've been drinking a lot more coffee lately than I'd ever admit to.

"Yeah I prefer not giving them the chance to fuck me over." She said flatly.

I shrugged and started to twist the styrofoam cup in my hand nonchalantly. "Getting fucked over is inevitable. If it doesn't happen today, it'll most likely happen tomorrow. Besides, if I wasn't this way do you think we'd be sitting here right now?"

"As I recall, I'm the one that showed up to ask you why the hell you were ignoring me."

Her pierced brow raised at me as I cleared my throat nervously. "It's kind of..." I started, but I still hadn't come up with a good excuse.

"Well." She sat forward and smirked at me again. "Your phone is obviously in working condition, you haven't been to school for ages, so no homework. Your sister told me about all the sitting around you guys do. What's your excuse?"

The gears in my head gave one last futile attempt at spinning, but ended up creaking loudly and sputtering out. I sighed exhasperatedly, deciding on the truth. "Because I've got so much stuff on my mind, and then we kissed. And since then, it's been on my mind more than anything besides my father. I'm running out of space in my brain, running out of emotions to feel. I can't deal with all of that right now, Jade."

Her expression was one of shock and I was almost inclined to laugh at her, but that would ruin my appearance of seriousness. "I'm not asking you to deal with anything." She said, snapping out of her stupor. "I'm trying to help you out with a bad situation because you did that for me. But if I'm just causing anoth-"

I cut her off quickly. "No, that's not what I meant. It's like, I have no idea why but I relax around you. It should be the exact opposite because of our past but things have changed. And I like being around you. A lot. More than a _friend_ should. I think I more than proved that in the kiss last week. But that's a can of worms I'm not exactly ready to open right now. I can't face feelings for someone that I shouldn't have feelings for until my life calms down. Does that make sense?"

"So you ignore me?" She asked.

I sighed. I seem to be doing a lot of sighing as of late. "I'm sorry about that, I really am. But I don't know how to make you understand where I was coming from with this. It wasn't your fault though."

"I know it wasn't." She smirked.

Rolling my eyes, I tore at the heat protector around my cup. She was taking this news a lot better than I thought she would and it relieved a lot of stress that had been resting on my shoulders. "How are you not freaking out?" I asked.

She finished taking a large swig from her cup before she said, "You really think I didn't know you had a crush on me?"

My eyes narrowed at her. "You knew?" She just looked at me as if to say 'Duh.' and I threw my hands up in frustration. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Watching you squirm is one of my favorite pass-times." She stated through a smirk.

I tore my heat protector from my cup and threw it at her, hitting her in the shoulder. "You're such a... A..."

"Bitch?" She suggested, laughing.

"No. But that wasn't cool!" I said. Her melodic laugh rang in my ears and I couldn't help but laugh with her. It was contagious.

After the laughter settled I looked at her with sadness in my eyes. "I'm sorry I was avoiding you."

She just shook her head. "I'm unavoidable if I don't want to be avoided. Ask Cat. Next time at least tell me to leave you the fuck alone."

I smiled. "You got it.

**Sorry it's rather shortish. I wanted to get Tori's shit out there. Rofl. And now it is. Perhaps Jade's will be soon! Next chapter should have the conclusion of the David Vega situation. I wonder what will happen! Will he live? Will he die? Perhaps the next word I'm given will decide...**

**Seven wordly PMs and I'll be giving you chapter eleven. (:**


	12. Dawn

**First, I want to apologize a million and one times. Our internet's been turned off at the worst time possible! The closest place to me with wifi is my mother's house, which is a three mile walk. Having explained that, don't say I don't love my fans! Because oh my GOD that walk sucked, and I did it for **_**you**_** guys! My updates are going to slow down drastically but I won't ever stop until we have finished our awesome journey. You can count on me! I have the FF app on my phone though so I can still read the reviews and PMs and the like. If there's a way to update stories through the Android app, I haven't found it. If YOU know how, please PM me the details!**

**I just wanna say that Newsies is the BOMB! Seriously, you're so awesome. :D I have to come up with a proper way to thank you for your pure excellence. Not only have you given me perfect words every single time you suggest, but you've saved my ass multiple times when we needed just **_**one more**_** to hit our quota, and you keep me entertained with your awesome-sauce friendship. Mucho appreciated, mi amigo. Seriously, no really, I'm dead serious. For real. No joke, no lies. Legitimate.**

**Okay, this author's note is getting too long. Again, I'm so sorry for the annoying wait, and any/all future waiting... Lots to read and feel angsty about in this chapter, though.**

**This word comes from TheClosetPoet, thank you for giving us this grade A word!**

_**Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious, not getting money.**_

**These Words**

_-Dawn-_

Not talking to Tori was torturous, especially since I know she needs me right now. And as much as I hate to admit to needing anyone ever, I definitely need her too. She has some sort of fucked up power over me that makes everything okay for a little while. When I'm with her I don't think about _him_ nearly as much as I do in seclusion. Talking about him hurts a little less and I can actually have some kind of fun.

I sighed and rolled out of bed. Lately I've been waking up at the ass-crack of dawn every morning and it's irritating as all hell. I blame Tori, it's her fault. If I wasn't having these incessant dreams about her every damn night, I wouldn't be waking up way too early. My feet carried me up my basement stairs and I glared at the horizon through the nearest window. It's beautiful, to be honest, and I hate that. The enchanting hues of reds, pinks and oranges crawling up the sky to fade into the gorgeous shades of purples and blues, it was enough to make me feel something just by looking at it. I scoffed in disgust and slammed the curtains shut as hard as anyone is capable of slamming a curtain, stalking into the kitchen. I'm turning into a fucking sap, I have to maintain.

As per usual I went about setting my coffee pot up, awaiting a text from Tori. I'd told her about my sleeping problem - leaving out the dreams, of course - and she began texting me every single morning without fail. She's usually up about an hour after me, getting ready and heading to the hospital at six thirty, when visiting hours begin. The exchange is usually only three to four texts altogether. As long as we both know the other is alright, then there's no reason for idle chat, it's not my style. At first she tried, the girl loves texting, but as long as I get those two or so texts assuring that she's okay, my phone goes ignored.

It wasn't long before my phone started buzzing, skidding across the table - wait, it's ringing? Not a text, a phone call. I glanced at the clock only to realize that there's still at least forty five minutes before Tori even wakes up. My mind immediately assumed the worst and I snatched my phone off the table, answering it quickly. "Yeah?"

_"You answered!"_ My heart stopped when it was Beck's voice on the other end instead of Tori's. Fuck. _Fuck._

"What do you want?" I asked, fighting to keep my voice steady.

There was a small pause on the other end before he spoke again. _"I wanted to know if you were okay. I... I really miss you. I miss-"_

"Just stop." I demanded. Who the fuck does he think he is? Fuck him and fuck this gaping hole in my chest. Fuck the tears in my eyes, I won't let them out. I'll deal, it's what I do.

_"Come on, Jade. We were friends before we dated. Can't we go back to that?" _He sounded desperate but he's widely known as one of the best actors in all of Hollywood Arts. No, that's stupid. He's not acting, I left him and it's hurting him too. But seriously? He's healed enough to be around me without an issue already?

"I really doubt it." I reply dryly.

_"You won't even try? I think we owe it to eachoth-"_

"I don't owe you shit."

_"You know that's not what I meant." _He deadpanned.

"No, what you mean is that you want me to see you, alone, just us two. I'm not a dolt, Beck. And my argument to that is, why? Why bother? Why go through the pain of being alone with you and not being able to hug you, or kiss you? Why would I want to tear at my heart like that?" Against my better judgement I allowed the tears to spill forth. Holding them back was starting to make me feel light-headed, and there's no one around to see them anyway.

_"You chose this, I'm just trying to live with it. I'm trying to keep you in my life, because losing you forever is going to kill me. Not a single day goes by that I'm not reminded of you, and it's always the most stupid little things tha- ugh. Fuck, Jade. Just give me a chance? Let's grab a coffee before school or something, start small. Please?"_ I imagined tears of pain and frustration in his dark brown eyes, tears that he couldn't help but shed. I imagined him in as much pain as me, suffering just as much as I have been. Why? Because it helps.

I was about to reply to him when my phone vibrated in my ear, signifying that I'd recieved a text message. "Hang on, I have a message." I pulled the phone back and looked at the screen. It was from Tori. But there's still forty minutes before she's supposed to be awake - again my brain kicked into panic mode as I opened it.

**From: **Vega

**Received: **5:22 AM

_they r waking him up 2day so im heading in early big day_

My reply was short, as usual, but I know she'll get that it means more than it seems.

**To: **Vega

**Sent: **5:23 AM

_good luck vega_

In the short amount of time it took to read her message and reply with my own, my thoughts took a drastic turn. Tori could quite possibly lose her father today. And not in the same way that I lost my mother, she still breathes somewhere, I can find her whenever I want if I ever want to. If David Vega dies today, Tori would never see him again. No one would. He'd rot in a wooden box six feet below the earth's surface with nothing except a large carved-up boulder to indicate that he'd existed at one point. The reality of the latina's situation hit me all at once as I put the phone back up to my ear. "Fine." I stated simply.

_"Really?"_ He asked with hope in his tone.

"Yeah, Starbucks near school, seven o'clock. I'll give it a shot but don't get your hopes up." He started saying something in reply but I hung up before I could hear it. On any other normal day I'd turn him down, screaming and hating him. Life's too short for that shit though. I love Beck and I don't want to lose him, and being that I have absolutely no idea how long either of us will be here, it's time to start sucking it up - something I'm very good at doing. So I will, I'll have coffee with Beck and I'll suffer through whatever pain it may bring. Time to start facing the pain head on.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

The cup in my hands spread a warmth through my body that only coffee could provide. My phone is on its highest setting that way I wouldn't miss a text message from Tori even if my headphones were in. They're not, but still. Beck should be here any minute, and even though I know I'm not making the wrong decision, my whole body is shaking. I feel sick. I shouldn't have agreed to this, it's still too soon. I can't handle it.

Just as I was about to get up and leave he walked into the coffee shop. Too late, handle it I must. I sighed heavily as I watched him make his way to me. His jeans have holes in them, as usual. His plain black t-shirt beneath his white and red plaid jacket weren't exactly wowing me. The same beat up old converse shoes adorned his feet. His hair is as fluffy as ever, but that's nothing new. He's always walked with a certain confidence in his step, but as his gaze met mine his demeanor changed to one of trepidation.

Looking into Beck's dark brown eyes has always been a natural thing with me. I've never had a problem with it, and that's not going to change. Happy, sad, pissed, heartbroken - it doesn't matter. He used to be the same, but for some reason or another he seems to be having a problem with returning the gesture. "No coffee?" I asked as he reached my table. Back when we were together I would've had one awaiting his arrival, but that was then.

He hesitated, a hurt expression marring his features, and then shook his head. "No, we only have, like, fifteen minutes before school. I don't wanna waste that in line." He sat down across from me, placing his backpack on the floor at his feet, and fixed his gaze on something behind me. "So..." He started. "How have you been?"

"Peachy." I deadpanned, sitting back in my chair and crossing my legs. "How's Alyssa?"

"Don't do that, Jade. Don't push me away like this." He pleaded. "Let's try the friends thing, okay? Let's have a normal conversation without snide remarks."

"Have you forgotten who I am already?" I asked sarcastically. "Snide remarks _are_ my normal. Has been since before you've even known me."

He nodded. "Yeah, but this isn't like that. Not anymore."

"Wow." I said incredulously. "Weren't you the one that was begging _me_ to go back to when we were friends?"

"New friends."

I laughed dryly at his words. "New friends? Really Beck?"

"What?" He asked, finally meeting my gaze.

"I haven't changed, at least not that much. Not in the short time that we've been apart. I'm sure you haven't either. We've known eachother for years, we can't be new friends." I could almost see the hope physically fall from his eyes, but I couldn't bring myself to feel bad about it. He's being absurd.

"Fine, old friends then. But no shots about Alyssa, or anything about the break up. It's not fair to me." He stood up and moved to the chair next to me. "See? We're talking and compromising. We can do this Jade. All we need to do is give it a proper chance."

"Being friends with someone shouldn't have to warrant a '_proper chance_'. It should be easy."

"Well what about Tori? You've spent so much time with her since we split up that I'm starting to wonder whether you still hate her or not. I highly doubt becoming friends with her was all that easy." He said.

"Tori's helped me in the past with my play, when we split, and a lot more. Now she needs someone. I owe her, and I always repay my debts." My voice was even as I spoke the words but I know they aren't true. Tori doesn't feel that way, I owe her nothing - at least not in her eyes. I feel like I do but it's not in a bad way. I _want_ to be there for her, to be someone she can lean on. Not to mention being friends with her has turned out to be one of the easiest things I've ever done - and consequentially one of the best.

Beck sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay. I have to head into school to meet up with Andre. I'll see you in class. Meet after school?"

"Whatever." I replied, waving at him dismissively. And with that, Beck was gone. At least we didn't fight. The hole in my chest is throbbing though, and if I squeeze the foam cup in my hands any harder, I'm pretty sure it would crumble, spilling the scalding liquid all over me. I downed the rest to avoid such a situation and left, deciding against school for today. Fuck that, I just want to go home.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

**From: **Vega

**Recieved: **12:48 PM

_cat said ur not in school r u ok_

I'd recieved at least four text messages from Cat before Tori sent me this. I didn't reply to Cat but I shot Tori a quick '_I'm fine_' message and proceeded to ignore my phone once again. I saw Beck this morning and breathing has been an issue ever since, but then my idiotic ass goes and commits to seeing him again after school. I'm _so_ not looking forward to this. I should've gone to school. Everything in my room is screaming Beck's name so loud that it's drowning out any thoughts I'm using to distract myself. At least in school I'd have the usual annoyances - Cat's bubbley way of acting, Robbie and Rex coaxing rage from deep within me, Sinjin's leering - to distract me from my thoughts for a few hours. Of course, I probably _could_ go see Tori, but today's not the day for that. It's family time. I wonder if they've given him the wonder drug yet...

**To: **Vega

**Sent: **12:56 PM

_how r things_

She'll know what I mean... My phone chirps loudly, and there's her reply. They're taking some last minute tests for reassurance and they'll most likely try to wake him up around eight tonight. Another message and apparently it could take up to ten hours for him to really wake up.

Man this shit sucks, that's all the Vega's have been doing since the old man was shot. Waiting, and waiting, and waiting. I even find _myself _becoming increasingly irritated with it. I've never been the most patient person in the world but this is Tori's family, not mine. Shouldn't matter to me. And yet it does... Why?

Because you're sad when she's sad, that's what love does.

"Shut up." I said aloud to my thoughts.

No, it's true.

"Well no shit, just shut the fuck up about it."

You're the one going on about it. You're yelling at yourself.

"..."

Mhmm.

"Fuck you."

Don't avoid Tori, stupid. She'll either have the best moment of her life when her father wakes up and want you there to celebrate, or she'll need you to gather the broken pieces of her when he dies.

I groaned loudly as I pressed my index and middle fingers to my temples, rubbing them soothingly. "God, just go back to thinking about Beck."

Okay, what the fuck are you thinking?

"Friends..." I mumbled.

Yeah right. You're going to do something incredibly stupid and you know it. Beck knows it too, he's counting on it, I'd wager.

"Maybe I'll commit myself. Solves all my current problems quite nicely."

Beck's not right for you, he never was and he never will be. You wanna know who's right for you?

"Don't fucking say it."

Tori.

"Fuck!" Okay, now I'm really worried about my sanity... I'm literally arguing with myself.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

"Why are we going to your place?" I asked Beck suspiciously from the passenger seat of his car.

"Where do you want to go then? I figured anything else would feel too much like a date." He explained, eyes firmly on the road ahead.

He has a point. Movies, date. Restaurant, date. Hell, even coffee this morning felt too much like a date, despite the less than friendly dialogue. Still, there's no other place? "The mall?" I suggested.

"You want to go shopping?" He asked skeptically.

No, not particularly, but his place seemed way too intimate of a setting. Especially when you consider the shit we used to do there when we were together. There's really only one reason he used to invite me over. Not that that's all we ever did, we hung out but it always lead to sex. I just sighed and watched the world pass us by out the window. Beck's place alone with Beck but not dating Beck means no sex with Beck for the first time. That's bound to be a huge discomfort. The voice in my head is really going to love this.

When we arrived Beck hopped out immediately but I hesitated. I'm not even inside and the tension is thick. He unlocked his trailer door and looked behind at me, squinting through the rain and then beckoning to me with a smile. Fuck it, I got this. I hopped out and walked toward him with confidence, but the moment I stepped inside, it faded immediately. Normally I would've plopped down on his bed and played with my phone as he did whatever, but now I'm not even sure of where to stand. His scent was all over, and it was almost burning in my nasal passages. What. The fuck. Am I doing here?

"Relax." Beck said from his bed as he fiddled with his pear dock. His legs were stretched out comfortably, and it wasn't long before he got his music going. That's one thing him and I could never agree on. He likes heavy metal, death metal. I hate that shit. I like music where the singing takes actual talent. Some chick rock bands, a few pop singers if you could believe that. Opera. Pop opera, like Sarah Brightman. Beck's taste lies within vulgar profanities and throat-wrenching screams.

I snorted sarcastically. "You relax."

"I'm fine." As he said it he patted the spot next to him on his bed.

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my lips. "We're alone at your place and you want me to lay in bed with you? If that doesn't scream alterior motive, then I don't know what would."

"You've known me for years, Jade, you know I'm not like that. And even if I did want that, would it be so bad?"

"Yes."

"Why? Because we aren't dating anymore? So what. We know eachother, we're familiar with what we want."

I can't believe I'm hearing this. Is he for real? He brought me here to coax me into becoming a fuck buddy? "Tell me you're not serious right now." I said, folding my arms over my chest.

He stood up and walked over to me, placing his warm hands on my shoulders. "I'm serious. But that's not why I brought you here. You brought this up, I'm just being honest about my thoughts on it."

"Oh, well that makes everything all better." I sneered in his face.

He just chuckled and moved closer. The proximity had an obvious effect on my body but it wasn't more than I could handle. Accelerated breaths, bat-ridden gut, no big deal. "I could have anyone I want but I want you more than anyone else."

"Oh you're so romantic, Beck! Is this the part where I swoon and fall into your arms like a fucking princess in distress?" My voice held a venom like no other, he's saying all the wrong things. It's absolutely infuriating.

"No. That's exactly what every other girl would do and that's what I love about you. You're not like any of them."

"And yet I'm not quite enough to make you stay away from them." I added.

"Nothing has ever happened between Alyssa and I." He said through clenched teeth. I'm pissing him off, that's hilarious.

"Not yet. But she wants it to, and it's only a matter of time."

He just stared into my eyes angrily, but there was something more behind them. "Nothing ever will, there's only one person that I want. I want her in every way that she'll let me." And then his lips were on mine.

While the act didn't exactly contain the fiery passion that it used to, it was familiar and comforting. Fucking _fuck_, he's ruining so much work, so much time and effort to get over him. All of it shattered in one simple act, so trivial but enough to destroy my resolve and lean into the kiss. I felt him smile against my lips as his arms wrapped around my waist. Fuck it. He wants it, and there's no denying that I want it, so just fuck it. Maybe it'll even help stop the stupid dreams I've been plagued with.

This doesn't mean we're getting back together, we're meeting each other halfway for the sole purpose of filling a perfectly natural and carnal desire. Who cares if it'll destroy me afterwards, it's happening now and there's no stopping it. At least it's not coming from some stranger I met in the street, or in a bar. I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same in the morning in both situations though. I already hate myself for this and it's only just begun...

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

My text tone went off, loud and obnoxious in the almost-silence, startling me from the familiar dream I was having. I groped around in the darkness to locate it and my hand met the hard muscle of Beck's bicep. Bolting upright, I took in my surroundings and allowed the images from yesterday to wash over me. _Shit_. Shit, shit, shit. That did _not_ happen. The body next to me stirred and I stood up abruptly. Oh god, I'm naked. I stumbled around the trailer blindly, and flicked the lights on. Beck was lying in his bed, face down, his top half completely bare, his bottom half covered by his blanket. So much for this helping with the fucking dreams. My clothes were scattered all about, mixed with his, and I scrambled to collect them, remembering what had awoken me in the first place. I slipped my pants on and unlocked my phone, all the while gathering my various belongings.

**From:** Vega

**Recieved: **4:28 AM

_i kinda need u 2 be unavoidable right now..._

Without a moments hesitation I pushed the green button on my phone to call her. My clothes were on, albeit in shambles. I'm sure my appearance resembles that of a shamed and dissheveled shell of a woman, as it should. The phone rang at least five times, the muffled sound mingling with the heavy drops of pouring rain pelting the outside of Beck's trailer ominously. _"Hey."_ She finally answers. She sounded alright but the tone of her text spoke volumes to the contrary.

"You needed an unavoidable force?" I replied, plopping down on Beck's bed to tie my boots.

_"Yeah, um... I'm sorry... I know it's early bu-"_

"Don't worry about it." I interjected. She feels so bad about everything all the time, it's sickening. "I'd have only been asleep another hour or so anyway. What's going on?" I could hear her let out a shuddering breath on the other end of the reciever and my body froze. Fuck, what happened? Is he dead? "Come on, Vega. Out with it." I demanded.

"Jade?" Beck's sleepy voice came from right next to me, and I groaned out loud. I really wish he hadn't woken up, normally he's a much heavier sleeper after sex. He rolled over to look at me, shielding his eyes from the light with his arm.

_"Is... is that Beck?" _The pain that colored from her tone was obvious, and it tugged at my heart.

"Yes." I whispered, answering them both. Why lie? She heard him, I'm caught. And he's... neither here nor there in my mind right now.

"Why are you awake?" He asked, glancing at the phone at me ear. "And who are you even talking to at..." He looked at his bedside clock. "Four thirty in the morning?!" His voice was incredulous.

Before I could reply to him, Tori spoke again. _"Hey, it's a-alright. I'm sorry I bugged you so early. C-congratulations by the way. I won't t-t-tell anyone."_ There was a click and the line went dead. Well that's not a good feeling at all. My heart pretty much just exploded in my chest and angry tears spilled from my eyes before I even knew what was happening.

"Jade, come on. It's way too early to be up." Beck mumbled.

No it's not. It's not at all. Tori and I are always up early. Maybe not _this_ early, but it's not much of a difference. Every morning we text. What did I just do? She heard him, she's not stupid. She knows. Her father could quite possibly be dead right now and I just made the entire situation so much worse. Not just hers, but mine too. I have to get over Beck, not fuck him. "Take me to the hospital." I demanded in a shaky voice.

"You okay?" He asked, sitting up immediately, and putting a hand on my shoulder.

I clenched my teeth together as tight as I could and shrugged his hand away. "No, but this isn't about me." I considered having him take me home first so I could wash him off of me and go there in my own vehicle, but she needs me now, not in a half an hour. "Take me to the hospital."

He tried to put his hand on my shoulder again but I stood up and walked to the door of his trailer. "I'll wait outside. Be fast, I need to get to the hospital." He called my name but I slammed the door shut behind me, running through the furious rain drops to his truck.

We drove in utter silence, and my emotions threatened to overtake me at any moment. The urge to break down completely weighed heavily in my chest, constricting my air flow as I fought it. I had to roll the window down and heave in the frigid air almost violently, letting the stray drops coat my face to maintain my cool. "Listen, Jade. I won't tell anyone about us until you're ready to, okay?"

What an idiot. "Shut up, Beck. Just... shut up. There's no us anymore." I realize it takes two to get into this sort of mess but I still want to blame it all on him. At least for right now. I don't need any more guilt at this time, otherwise I'll lose my mind. What's left of it anyway.

"So, what, you were just toying with my emotions?" He spat back.

"Fuck you."

"You did that for me, remember?" Never in my entire relationship with Beck - friends or otherwise - did I ever feel the urge to physically hurt him, until right now. I want to punch him, to kick him, to unleash every sour emotion that dwells inside of me all over his stupid face.

I pressed my fist hard against the dashboard in front of me and took several moments to reign in the rage that threatened to burst from me. "I don't want to talk to you after this." My teeth are still clenched but my words are intelligible. "Don't text. Don't fucking call. Forget I exist."

"Shit, I'm sorry. I'm ju-"

"Shut the fuck up." My voice dripped with the anger inside of me, and for the first time ever, I believe Beck is genuinely scared of what I'll do. We drove without another word between us, and when we arrived, we didn't bother saying goodbye. I slammed his car door behind me and walked around the hospital without a single glance back.

I can't get my thoughts straightened out, everything in my life is completely backwards now. Hating Tori for touching Beck turned into hating Beck for causing Tori pain, regretting sex with Beck for the first time in our history _because_ of Tori. Needing Tori more than I've ever needed anyone, and knowing that she needs me just as much, _right now_, if not more. And I've fucked everything up, and twisted it, and the burden is too heavy. My knees buckled and hit the ground, sending cold water flying up around me just as a sob flew from my lips. Tori, Tori, _Tori_ _fucking Vega._ I hate a lot of things, meaningful things, pointless things, people and objects, actions, mannerisms, sounds. But the thing I hate the most right now, is me...

**Okay. So it was a long wait for a cliffhanger... I'm sorry! Don't hate me! I'd planned for Jade to have a breakdown scene for a while, it seems like she'd be the kind of person to bottle shit up until it's too much to deal with. I know, it sucks, but I gotta go by my instincts.**

**EIGHT PMS FILLED WITH WORD SUGGESTIONS IF YOU PLEASE. Next update shouldn't take as long... I hope... I should be able to anticipate them now that I know my limitations. Lol. I love you guyssss!**

**(P.S. To whomever suggested 'Penguins', I already have an idea for that word because you said it! Oh my god! So don't stop suggesting that please! I'll use it when it's more convenient to the story. Lol. But I love it and I want to use it soon!)**


	13. Breaking

**Okay. Umm. I don't even know where to begin… Apologizing seems too… It's just that all hell broke loose in my life, and it's brought me down a lot. I had a job, I lost a job, I found another job, that job ended… (It was seasonal…) Lost my home, so now I'm a couch hopper. Lol. It's all just getting too real-worldish for me and I haven't had the time to really sit down and write… But today I thought to myself, "Hey. You're an idiot. You miss writing; your readers probably hate you. Make the fuckin' time." And so here I am… Forgive me?**

**Anyway, you've waited long enough, that cliff-hanger was probably the worst one in history, no? Lol. At this moment I am armed with a large mug of coffee and some free time on my hands. Let's do this.**

**This word comes from steph wwe fan. Thankya! (Quick refresher, this one's in Tori's POV.)**

_**Disclaimer: Just playing around with Victorious characters and not getting paid.**_

**These Words**

_-Breaking-_

I pressed my forehead firmly against the cool glass of the transparent doors, watching the drops of water pelt the ground of the parking lot through the haze of tears. Is it mandatory for it to be raining every time someone dies? Staying up in the waiting room while my mother discusses funeral homes with the doctors is just far too much to handle. It feels like my head is going to explode. Being strong for my mother and sister is hard enough without having to hear about my father's death multiple times in one sentence.

Holding back the tears was almost easy before I called Jade. Mom needs me to, Trina needs me to, and the thought of Jade being here helped – even though I hadn't even called her yet. It's very early in the morning but I was sure she wouldn't mind. Hearing Beck's voice, though, it was enough to shatter whatever remained of my heart after the news of my dad. Now there's an enormous hole in my chest that I'll be dealing with alone, along with holding my family together. After I hung up I lost my self control and I was found by a nurse, crying on the floor of the elevator. I felt so stupid, so selfish. I still do.

I put too much pressure on Jade. Sure, we're closer now than we ever have been before – and that's putting it mildly – but it's still new, too new. She's not used to being needed like me, not used to helping everyone. It was selfish of me to force my problems on her this way. It was nice to have her while it lasted though, that's for sure – and now that Beck is back things will probably return to the way they used to be.

It's for the best this way, and it was incredibly stupid of me to think that my silly little crush on her meant anything. I'm not Beck, I'll never have anything on him in her eyes. They belong together. I'll get over it, I have to. Jade loves Beck and letting my own feelings get in the way of her happiness… I can't allow that.

I sighed heavily and the glass door fogged up. Sitting back, I watched it disappear slowly, drowning in my own thoughts. Thinking about Jade hurts, but it hurts less than thinking about my father. When I think about him, that incessant and constant beep that symbolized his end gets stuck in my head, and it just doesn't stop. My head starts to hurt; my body starts to shake… I know I'll have to deal with the pain eventually but I'm not ready yet. There's no good to think about right now. On top of everything I'm most likely failing every class in school and my friends probably hate me for being so incredibly anti-social. It all seems so trivial now, though, and I can't bring myself to think about anything other than Jade or death. So I choose to dwell on the lesser of two evils for now. The time will come when I'll cave in on myself and break apart just like in the elevator, but even that was mild. My family needs me right now.

The fog I sprayed on the glass faded away completely just in time for me to see a girl collapse on the sidewalk outside the hospital. I stood up immediately and ran into the pouring rain to help her, if she was hurt she needed to be seen right away. "Hey, are you okay?" I shouted over the rain, splashing through puddles on my way over to her. My clothes were soaked through in a matter of seconds.

"Fine." It was Jade's voice, and it made me stop dead in my tracks.

"Jade?" I asked as she stood up.

"No, Vega. I'm Jesus, here to wash away all of your sins." Her voice was laced with sadness and insincere sarcasm, but it was hers. "I slid and fell, I'm fine." She stood completely and the hood fell away from her face, she wore the same mask she wears every day – a smug smirk. Her hair clung to her cheeks and her whole body was soaked to the bone but it was her eyes that held my attention. They were filled with obvious pain, and something inside me knew that it wasn't just rain that was coating her cheeks.

I had to bite back the tears that threatened to escape me. "You're here…" I said, holding back a sob. There's no chance in feeling happy, not right now, but there's a significant cloud of relief in my chest.

"I figured you might need a friend."

My head dropped and I stared at a crack in the sidewalk for a moment. On the one hand this is exactly what I want, what I need. Jade's here. On the other, she just came from Beck's house and that hurts more than I can handle right now. Then there's always the chance that she doesn't want to be here but felt obligated after the phone call. I bit my lip, trying to decide what to say or do. A useless cause, my brain has pretty much screeched to a halt.

"Stop over thinking it." She said loudly. "I'm where I want to be."

Before I was able to help myself, my body pushed forward and I ran to her, throwing my arms around her neck. Her arms wrapped around my waist in a tight embrace, and that's when my resolve finally snapped. The ability to stand on my own was lost, leaving the task of keeping me upright completely in Jade's hands and after burying my face in her neck, I began to sob. "He's gone." I said, tightening my grip on her.

Jade said nothing, just as I knew she wouldn't, she just held me. Somehow she seemed to know that that's exactly what I need. She always seems to know. We stayed like this for what seemed like hours, with the rain pouring down on us like a waterfall. I had no urge to take shelter, I didn't care about the rain, let it fall. That is, until I felt Jade shiver in my arms.

I pulled away from her. "It's cold." I said, trying to lead the way to the hospital doors. Instead she stopped me and reached down grabbing my hand in hers. Squeezing it tight, she gave me a small, unsure smile and led me through the doors herself.

I stared at her face during the short walk to the elevators. The relief was still there in my chest but there was also doubt. A million and one memories of Jade and Beck were flashing through my mind like lightning bolts, stabbing immense currents of pain directly into my heart. Beck kissing Jade, Jade kissing Beck, looks of love, fighting like a couple, holding hands, sitting against one another. My focus would alternate between these images and Jade's daunting features. Her dampened hair was clinging to her elegantly pale skin. My eyes traced every inch of her profile with acute perception. I couldn't see her eyes from this angle but she gave away more signs than she intended. Each breath she took was slow and calculated, each blink of her thick lashes deliberate. Her lips were parted just slightly and I could just imagine in my head that her tongue was pressed firmly against the roof of her mouth in an attempt to hold onto whatever self control she possesses at this moment. It was enough to make me numb inside; just imagining what comforts her kisses could bring me. The distraction, the safety, it's something I want more than anything at this moment.

The elevator arrived on our floor with a loud ding and I jumped, stealing my hand away from Jade's grip. It wouldn't make sense to continue with this behavior. There are plenty of friends that hold hands – especially in times when one may need comforting – but that will never be true in this situation. Not with Jade and I. I love her and I could never go back from that. There's enough on my mind to last a lifetime and adding onto it would be incredibly half-witted of me.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

The next few days were probably the longest in my entire life. It seemed like we had to run around the entire city to get everything settled with the funeral. Flowers, a coffin, a plot, the showing, it all had to be done in less time than finals would take for school. More often than not I had Trina begging me to go along with them even though all I wanted to do was sit in bed and feel sorry for myself.

Jade made it a point to stop by every single day after school. Even if I wasn't home, she'd text me asking where I am and then show up there, remaining by my side until she decided it was time for her to go home – which was usually very late because it was always after I'd fallen asleep. If her father had even half a mind to pay attention to her, he'd probably think she was into some sort of drug habit. Disappearing every day after school and coming home all hours of the night.

The funeral was nothing short of torture. I spent the entire ceremony with my teeth clenched and my fists balled at my sides, forcing every single tear back into my body. Jade had caught on quick about my new attitude towards her. She stopped trying to hold my hands and her embraces became less. But as the priest droned on and on – quoting the bible and using words that didn't describe my father at all – her arm ended up around my waist. The time eventually came to close the casket. It was my mother who had done so. The dismally dry thud hammered through my body with dreadful finality – my heart shattered all over again and the beeping sound invaded every corner of my thoughts. I couldn't hear the people around me or the sobs pouring from my throat, only the long and continuous beeping that would undoubtedly haunt me for the rest of my life.

Breaking down at your father's funeral isn't something you plan but sometimes it happens anyway. Jade held me until the moment I stood up, almost an hour and a half later. Everyone else had gone – including my mother and sister at Jade's request. She held her hand out to me and said, "Let's get you home." This time I took it, what choice did I have?

She slept at my house that night – last night. In bed with me. I refused to release her hand and ended up crying myself to sleep. It's just about five in the morning now and her light breaths and small sighs of content are the only thing keeping me from breaking down all over again. Her peaceful face was far too breathtaking to risk disturbing.

A strand of midnight hair fell from her forehead, tickling her nose and causing her to scrunch it up. It was so adorable that I giggled a little bit louder than I intended. Her body stiffened slightly and her enchanting emerald eyes met mine. It was the first time I'd seen a genuine smile on her face since… well we'll just go with quite some time. "I missed your laugh." She whispered.

I snorted sarcastically even though her words had my heart in a puddle at her feet. "Thanks."

There was silence as she thought about what she should say. I just averted my gaze to the ceiling. What is there to say? My father's dead, the woman I love is unavailable… "How are you feeling?" She asked timidly.

How am I feeling? Anger grew in the pit of my stomach as each word left her mouth. How am I feeling? What a silly question. How the fuck does she think I'm feeling? Lost, sad, mad, confused, alone… I'm not just feeling one thing.

I turned my head to look into her eyes – to scream all of this at her – but there was nothing but absolute concern hidden in them and I choked on my angry words. It's not Jade's fault that I'm feeling all of these things, she doesn't deserve my anger, she deserves my honesty. "I…" I started, but the sadness overwhelmed me all at once. My words were rushed; I had to get them out before the sobs began again. "I feel like I'm breaking." I blurted before clapping a hand over my mouth to smother the choking sound that escaped me. The feelings inside of me, the events around me; it all leads me to believe that it will be a long, long time – if ever – before I'll ever feel happy again.

**No more cliffhanger, yaaaay! That's this chapter – angsty and sort of short – but I promise the next one won't be so agonizing to wait for! It'll be worth the read too, it's about time our girls get together, don't you think? If it wouldn't be too much to ask, leave me some reviews and suggest a word?**


	14. Numb

**You've all made me so happy with your reviews! It's amazing to know that you've missed me as much as I've missed you. Everything is slowly getting better though. I promise my updating wait times will not be three months long! I'm anticipating a week or two at the most, my lovelies. Depends on this JOB INTERVIEW! Boom, good news. Okay, ON WITH IT.**

**This word comes from KrakenJackOldNo.7, good on ya! Significant time jump, but that's nothing new with me. Lol. I do that a lot. I'm not usually one to drag a story on unnecessarilly... (Bit of humor there, ha.)**

_**Disclaimer: Own nothing but the plot, get no dollahz.**_

**These Words**

_-Numb-_

Seeing Beck at school was nothing to me. Not since the morning Tori's father passed. From that point any pain I'd felt for him morphed into intense anger, just like everything else with me usually does. And just like everything else, the anger turned into a sort of numb indifference. My glares faded into glances, and my glances faded into shrugs, until looking at him only happened if he was in my direct line of sight while I was trying to see something else. That something else was usually Tori.

It was rare that I would have to see him while looking at Tori but there were more than a few times I'd caught them talking in the halls of school and the numb indifference ignited into an inferno of white hot rage once again. A million different thoughts would fly through my head, seething about what their topic of conversation could possibly be. I'd even grown paranoid enough to believe that it was Beck's fault that Tori was growing so cold but every time I asked her about it, she would explain the conversation to me without any hidden meanings and I'd have no choice but to believe her. Why would she lie? To protect me? That's not Tori. According to her words, I never even come up in their conversations. I don't know if I should be relieved or offended by this. Numb indifference, it never fails.

I spend every moment I possibly can with Tori - now that I've come to terms with my feelings for her - but it seems like she drifts away from me more and more with each passing day. I've never been known for my copious amounts of patience but the small amount that I am able to spare is fading fast. It's been months since Papa Vega croaked and she's just getting more distant with time and it seems she's using his death as an excuse to pull away from me. Of course I don't expect her to be okay just yet but she should really be more okay than this, right?

No, probably not. Look how long I spent pining over Beck and he was just a boyfriend. But that doesn't explain all of it. I can't touch her anymore without her shrugging me off, I can't hug her without her back growing stiff, and if she looks at me - if our eyes meet - a sadness I'd never seen in anyone before clouds her chocolate-brown eyes and she looks away. Usually to stare at the floor. My heart breaks every time it happens and that pisses me off. Which isn't good because I don't want this anger to fade into indifference of any kind. I never want anything that I feel about Tori to fade, terrifyingly enough.

There have been nights that I've caught myself wishing on every star in the sky that Tori could find the numbness that I've come to rely on - to give her some peace in her mind, even if it's just for one day. I miss the old Tori. The usual spring in her step was replaced with a slouch while her feet were dragging. The fake smile she always had plastered on her lips was nothing more than the ghost of the once brilliant grin she used to wear. Everyone can see it, and I mean everyone. People that have never spoken to her in her life walk up and ask her if she's alright, yet she continues with the facade of happiness that we can all see through. I suppose she's trying to settle into some kind of routine that she thinks is it for her.

My stomach rolled dangerously at that prospect. Tori Vega - sweet, vibrant Vega - putting on a fake smile every day for the rest of her life, never to be happy again. Just like me... I would never allow that. No. Today is the day that I snap her the fuck out of this ridiculous funk.

As if right on que my phone began to project the sound of dying pigs into the blackness of my room, startling me. I laughed out loud at myself, I'd forgotten I set that as my alarm tone after smashing my bedside alarm clock into pieces. It was right after a particularly annoying day and the thought of dying pigs ended up making me feel much better. Don't bother asking me why.

After I shut the alarm off, my phone vibrated in my hand, signaling the arrival of a text message. As expected.

**From: **Vega

**Received:** 5:16 AM

morning i will be ready b then?

We'd fallen back into our 'one text in the morning' routine, I made sure of it. If she didn't text me by six at the latest, I would call her and wake her up. Eventually she got the hint I was forcing down her throat and it's been this way ever since. I replied with a playful "affirmative," and dressed quickly, foregoing the usual morning shower.

Picking Tori up was usually the highlight of my day. It sounds ridiculous and sappy but I tend to miss her the nights I don't stay at her house. It's been weeks since that's happened, so I miss her more often than not. She stopped inviting me in, so I stopped coming in. Now she usually thanks me and I head home to sit at my house alone, not doing homework.

By the time six o'clock rolled around I was already waiting impatiently in her driveway, fingers drumming noisily on the steering wheel. Proof that waiting this long for Tori to snap out of it is nothing short of a miracle. I can't even stand waiting for two minutes in her driveway without getting antsy. It always seemed worth it though, because when she walked out of her door a smile would break out on my face. Never long enough for her to see, but it's always there.

Another minute's worth of waiting and the front door of her house opened. Her usually tight jeans were replaced with sweatpants and a small tank top. She was more about comfort than presentation nowadays. At least her hair is brushed this time. Regardless, she's still pretty sexy to me.

"Hey." I said as she plopped into the passenger seat. "Ready for another day at Hollywood Arts?"

She scoffed as her seatbelt clicked into place, and her bag was stuffed beneath the seat. "Yeah, as ready as any other day." She avoided my gaze as usual, so I just sighed and threw the car into reverse.

We drove in silence for a few minutes before I couldn't stand it anymore. "Do you even want to go?"

"No, not really. But what choice do I have? My mom has enough to deal with without having a delinquent daughter that skips school on her hands." She replied.

"Fuck that." I said, pulling to the side of the road. "Missing one day won't hurt." I started to turn the steering wheel but Tori's hand reached out and stopped it before I got far enough to spin the vehicle around.

"No, Jade." She said in her best stern voice.

My eyebrow shot up in mock intrigue. "Wow." I said.

"What?" Her hand was still clutching the wheel, this is honestly the closest she's been to me in a month without flinching away.

"I didn't know you even knew how to pronounce that word." I replied sarcastically, peeling her fingers away slowly. "It sounds almost foreign when you say it."

Her expression was blank for a moment as she stared at me and then she giggled lightly. It was all I could do not to break out into a satisfied smile. It's working already. "I suppose I would be better off if I learned to use it more." She said.

I nodded. "Too true, Vega, but not this time."

"Jade, come on! Why's it always got to be your way?" She huffed, folding her arms across her chest.

"Because I was saying no before I even knew what yes meant." I said, and I steered us all the way back toward - and then passed - her house, away from the prison that school had become.

.+.+.+.+.+.+.

There wasn't much either of us felt like doing, honestly, so we settled for silence on the deserted beach. The warm sun was nice but with my fair skin, being out here for too much longer may give me cancer. Regardless, it started to work a little. Tori was letting out small sighs of content, and she didn't move away too far when I laid down next to her. It won't be silent for much longer anyway - I'm only human though, I need time to mentally prepare. It's not every day that I make the decision to talk about my own feelings. Another reason I _have_ to discuss all of this bullshit with Tori. She's changing me, and I don't know whether to run away or embrace it. This isn't a Beck situation. No, this is much more... potent?

"Hey Vega?" I started, and then mentally cussed at myself for sounding so... fuckin' pathetic.

"Hmm?" She hummed in response. She was lying on her back with her eyes closed, bathing langoriously in the sun. Wearing nothing but her bikini...

I had to pause because even though I've fretted endlessly about this conversation, I never actually took any of that time to think about what I'm going to say. Nice going, West. You rock. "Tell me how you're feeling." It works.

"Warm." She giggled out.

Rolling my eyes, I said, "That's not what I meant."

"I don't want to talk about how I'm feeling."

"But I want to talk about it." I countered almost forcefully. Her eyebrow twitched but other than that I was met with silence from her. I sighed heavily and sat up, turning my body so that I was facing her. I got the best look I've had of her almost-nude form all day and I couldn't help the small sexual charge that flowed through me despite all of the shit that's on my mind. There was something about her perfectly smooth, coffee-colored skin that just drove me completely insane. "Tori." I said in a shakey, yet demanding voice. I'm proud of it though, especially since I'm experiencing some inner turmoil at the moment. "We need to talk."

"Jade West talking about feelings? Without shackles and needle-nose pliers? That's new." She sat up and crossed her legs, but she didn't face me. I had the urge to reach out and force her to look me in the eyes. "What did I do wrong?"

"Nothing. At least, not anything I know of. I did something wrong, but you're too distant to read at this point and it's pissing me off. If you weren't so withdrawn from... just _everything_ I would've been able to find a way of doing this that doesn't have me completely out of my element. But that's not the case, so tell me how you're feeling before I have to force it out of you." There, take that, Vega.

My smug attitude dissipated as Tori curled into herself, pulling her legs up to her chest and hugging them tightly. "I don't know, really. I guess I'm just... numb. I mean, I'm not happy but the sadness isn't suffocating me anymore." Well I suppose that's what I get for wishing she would be numb. It sounded good at the time but now that I think about it; being numb isn't all that great either.

Her chin landed soundly atop her knees and I almost had to cringe at the sight. She looks so fragile, anything I say could break her... again. "It still hurts... All of it, my dad, you, and my mom's sulking isn't helping much either. I'm just glad she's going back to work again. Trina and I have been there for her as much as we could be but she needs her friends and colleagues. People her own age. Trina has some friends at school so she's dealing with it her own way." The sadness in her eyes came back with full force as she said, "I guess how I'm feeling is just too hard to explain."

"I don't believe that." I said. "You've never been one to hold anything in. You're all about talking about feelings and shit. I get that your dad's death sucked more than I could ever imagine but this isn't you, and I..." I paused. I'm about to say something extremely sappy and I hate it. "If you repeat this, consider your reputaion at Hollywood Arts trashed - but I miss you, the old you."

Tori laughed out loud, a dry but genuine laugh, and her eyes closed so she could turn her face to me without meeting my eyes. To anyone else, she'd just look relaxed and tired, but I'm not a fuckin' idiot. "The old me? I don't even remember who the old me is."

"That shit pisses me off too. Why do you go out of your way to make sure you don't look at me? And the old you is still there, Vega. You just have to pull your head out of your ass and find her." I can't explain to you how bad I just want to shove her over and force her to look at me.

She was silent for a while before replying. I could see her eyes move beneath her lids as she thought about what to say next. It was getting almost awkward before she spoke again. "Looking at you... hurts."

Okay, offensive much? "Hey, I know I fucked up but it's not like we were a couple at the time and I was still confused about Beck." Her bottom lip twitched at the sound of his name and my heart clenched. It's damn near nothing to me anymore to say his name but I never really grew enough balls to talk to her about it. Until now, that is.

"It doesn't matter, Jade." She said, pulling her legs even closer to her body. "Mom has her friends, Trina _sort of_ has her friends, you have Beck. I'm used to dealing with stuff alone. You don't need to be here, Jade."

"So you're saying your feelings about me have changed?" I asked, dreading the answer.

"That's not what I said at all, Jade."

"Will you stop saying my name like that? And would you please just look at me?" I hate being confused, I hate it so much - and talking about this shit is just making it worse, not better. She's not making any sense at all!

"What did you bring me here for? What do you want me to say?" She's angry too, probably confused. That makes me feel better, so I smiled. A smile she didn't see and so it didn't make her angry.

I reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling it away from her legs. "Look at me, Tori. You're acting ridiculous."

"We should just go to school." She said.

"No." I said a little louder than I intended. "We're solving shit right here, right now." She moved to get up and walk away but I pulled her back down so she was lying on her back. Quickly, I placed my hands on her shoulders to pin her down, but I made sure not to make it seem like I was trying to hurt her. That's the last thing I need is for Tori to think I'm like Ryder in any way... "Talk to me. Look at me in the eyes and talk to me." I pleaded with her.

I felt her shoulders go slack beneath me in defeat and her eyes finally met mine. There was conflict and pain in them but they still held some of what I used to see there. Fire, life... love. "What do you want me to say?" She asked again, but this time her voice was soft and shakey.

"Everything." I replied, letting up on some of the pressure I had forced on her.

"Fine. You want to hear it? I miss my dad, I miss him every day and it hasn't gotten any easier. It feels like it never will. I thought I could do it alone, I have to! Trina and mom are getting better so I have to pretend that I am too, but the truth is I'm not. They have people, they have loved ones to help. Even you're looking less broken, now that you're back with Beck-"

I interrupted her rant with a loud laugh. "Back with Beck?"

She glared at me, but continued nonetheless. "Yeah, it's obvious. The phone call, and now you don't get that sad look on your face whenever you see him. You've been spending so much time with me, and you just got him back. He always looks so sad when we talk. I feel terrible for keeping you from him, and that's why I pull away. You don't have to shut him out for me anymore, I'll be okay."

She was done talking but I said, "Shut up, Vega." anyway. I rolled onto my back and laid down next to her. "I'm where I want to be. You're just talking crazy talk. Back with Beck, my ass." There was an overwhelming sense of relief coursing through my veins at this point. How ridiculous, although I could see why she would think that. Come to think of it, all of this mindless worry and anger for a little misunderstanding? That pisses me off as well.

I felt her body shift next to mine and so I turned my head to see her staring at me in confusion. "You're not with Beck?"

"No, that night was a mistake. A stupid mistake that I actually regret. Beck and I haven't even spoken since then because I told him to forget that I existed. Honestly, I thought he was saying shit to you that was making you pull away from me, that's why I always grilled you after I saw you two talking. I want you, not Beck, I realized that on that very night. Just didn't know if I should say it so soon after... Well you know." I said, watching the emotions fly across her face faster than my car could go. I chuckled lightly. "You know, it's funny watching you-"

Before I could finish my sentence, Tori's lips were on mine, effectively shutting me up. And then they were gone again. "Sorry, I just... I'm happy?" She babbled out, scrambling to move away from me.

I caught her by the arm again and pulled her back to me, she landed half on top of me. I smiled as the shock faded from her face and I kissed her again. Her softs lips were so warm against mine, it felt so good to finally kiss Tori. Well, without having any reason other than just wanting to. And boy did I ever want to.

**So now the smut can begin in the next chapter! Yaaaaay! That wait sucked, I know, but we're there people! We're finally THERE! MWAH!**


	15. THIS ISN'T A CHAPTER!

**This is NOT a Chapter!**

**I had the new chapter half written and then I found out the hard way that my computer had a virus... Everything on my hard drive is in ruins. Or something like that, I'm no computer expert... It's been in repair for a while now. I will get back to you as soon as possible, that's a promise! I know this was a tease, and it sucks, but I'd rather have you all angry with me than thinking I ditched you again. D: I promise it won't be too long now!**


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